Everything2
Near Matches
Ignore Exact
Full Text
Everything2

Do you know how many times you've woken up at 4:15 with deep insights?

created by transform

(idea) by transform (5.6 y) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 2 C!s Fri Sep 08 2000 at 3:28:24

A line from "He Said, She Said."

Has some resonance with me, though.

I know exactly how many times I've woken up in the middle of the night with real insight into my life, knowing exactly what I have to do, what I want to do.

Twice.

The first time, I realized that I was in love for the first time in my life. I knew that I had to tell him before he left, that I had to say something or I would spend the rest of my life regretting it. I knew that I had to do something, or I would probably implode.

The second time, I woke up in the middle of the night, and a different lover was clutching me in his sleep. The only thing I felt was a desire to pull away from his touch. I looked over and saw the look of peace and affection on his sleeping face, and I realized that I hadn't seen that look on his face while he was awake and looking at me in a very, very long time. I realized that I didn't love him, that I never did ... and, that I was very unhappy.

Both of these times, I did something that changed not only my relationships with these men, but also that shaped the person that I have become. These mid-sleep revelations have resulted in hard choices, hard actions ... and life changing circumstances.

I can't say I enjoy them, but I think that I need them.


printable version
chaos

About gradual producing of the thoughts when talking I want to live a life free of regrets He said, expecting the answer no Walking in NYC
He Said, She Said In the end it was always a stranger's hand Is jessicapierce attempting to destroy everything with the help of Satan? How do you know when your relationship is over?
4.48 Psychosis Make it your policy, starting now, to always answer this question honestly I'm not a god, but I'm working on it affection
The vacuum she left How to compliment a female coworker How do you know a girl wants to smooch? A Blather of Paradoxes
Do you remember when Everything was small? Every morning when I wake up, I feel guilty for all the things I have ever been Loaded Question Selective REM sleep deprivation
fold or crumple a small piece of something too big to grasp Ways and Means Dailiness
Y'know, if you log in, you can write something here, or contact authors directly on the site. Create a New User if you don't already have an account.
  Epicenter
Login
Password

password reminder
register

Everything2 Help

Cool Staff Picks
Little presents from the Node Fairy:
Grave of the Fireflies
Siberia
Space Ghost Coast to Coast
None of These Kids Gets Hurt.
caterpillar drive
He didn't want to be Gary anymore
Tell me a story about trains
The Lindisfarne Gospels
Traits that make a gem desirable
Donnie Darko
Dissertation defense
A Prayer for Everythingians
Israel/Palestine: Hopes for Peace
New Writeups
Whiskeydaemon
sewing machine(log)
waverider37
Forgotten things in space(poetry)
jessicaj
Days when art is too much to bear(idea)
You've Got Gold
I aborted my peace and tranquility(event)
Simulacron3
Sensing and Perceiving(essay)
StrawberryFrog
Bore(person)
Heitah
The Davy Crockett Weapon System(thing)
Timeshredder
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull(review)
aneurin
Miles Francis Stapleton Fitzalan Howard, 17th Duke of Norfolk(person)
Bitriot
flashover(thing)
tejasa
Cranberry Cornbread(recipe)
Dreamvirus
Brighton Bombing(event)
Ariloulaleelay
'Appendices' to a 'Report' on THE HIVE×BODY MACHŸNE(log)
Timeshredder
WALL-E(review)
sitaraika
Win-laik-pya(idea)
E2 is a by-product of the existence of The Everything Development Company