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I don't want to be a weeping mass of emotion, but I am

created by birdonmyshoulder*

(idea) by birdonmyshoulder* (6.3 y) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 4 C!s Sat May 13 2000 at 20:00:17

I am not a steel wall. Things do not bounce off of me like a tennis ball, although sometimes I wish they would. The other day, someone yelled "you're ugly!" out a car window at me, and it hurt. Even though I knew it was random, even though they were assholes and would have done it to anyone, even though it was raining and I was wearing a hood so they couldn't see my face, it still turned me into a quivering idiot. The rain fell harder, the traffic seemed noisier, the rampant curl on my head seemed even more rampant. I want so desperately to be able to turn the other cheek and forget, but I can't. This is the way I am. You may laugh at me and call me weak. Well, so be it. I am not weak. I feel things, that's all. If this writeup gets voted down, I admit, it will hurt me more than it should, even though I try really hard not to pay attention to voting and concentrate on writing what's real. I am being truthful, not looking for pity. This is why I cry. This is why, sometimes, I fell puny and small.

I'm sick of all this "who cares what other people think" bullshit. I cannot be blind to others. Yes, I am proud of who I am. Yes, I love the person I've become. And yes, it hurts me when other people disagree.


printable version
chaos

I am giving you every opportunity to let me down I would really like to beat the crap out of someone When life gives you lemons, just shut up and eat your damn lemons Last night I could not sleep because of the noise in my head
A weepy heap of blubbering protoplasm Activities impossible to do in a dignified manner My female offspring shall remain chaste until menopause What is my life missing
We should all like sex and drugs What Do You Care What Other People Think? Note to self: I don't want to be alone
Ayn Rand how to be a friend Fuck what other people think What do girls think about guys who think about what other people think about girls and what they do?
Scarred for life Compasses surrounded by iron filings Gordon the Gherkin hobo signs
I don't want to risk endangering the cheap, meaningless sex we have Earliest childhood memory emotional World, take care of me. You don't owe it to me, but I don't know any better.
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