JFK Jr. Ate My Television
Seumas (seumas@seumas.com)
Note: Written and posted on my website in July of 1999.
JFK JR., who's claim to fame was having his daddy's brains splattered all over mommy's blouse piloted himself, wife Carolyn Bissett, and his sister-in-law into the deep-blue-sea Friday night (July 16th).
An FAA source said that John Kennedy Jr. had barely completed 46 hours of flight time since obtaining his solo license in April 1998 and had rarely flown solo, even taking a flight-instructor with him to fly to Martha's Vineyard as recent as two weeks ago.
Compound that with a leg broken during a paragliding incident which was still in a cast which, JFK Jr. admitted, made it almost impossible to manage the flight controls and you have to wonder if he had a deathwish.
The ensuing media-inspired boo-hoo-fest was enough to make any sensible person want to imitate Ted Kennedy and drive their car off a bridge. Coverage was continuous and more morbid than the coverage of the Littleton shooting several months ago.
Nothing new has occurred since Saturday morning, but the media wouldn't let that stop them from continuous, hour after hour coverage, wiping out all traditional programming to bring us the JFK Jr. Show. A show where we get to watch rich blue blood cry for three of their own.
Every news station, from MSNBC to CNN and CBS urges us to have compassion for this poor, cursed family.
This American version of royalty is befitting the condescending view the world has of us. Only in America would we glamorize and worship a family of drunk-drivers, con men, rapists, child molesters and murderers. And only in America would a family be given total amnesty to conduct themselves in such a manner without penalty, because their father was given a bullet-aided lobotomy.
The only sanity seems to come from the British press who plastered their papers with comments such as:
"Insanity! . . . John F Kennedy Jr was a rookie pilot with just 46 hours flying time" -- THE MIRROR
"Kennedy 'Had A Death Wish' . . . All hope faded for John F. Kennedy Jr last night as a picture emerged of the blend of recklessness and arrogance which led to his death..." --DAILY MAIL
"Last Fatal Risk of a Daredevil . . . John F Kennedy Jr died as he lived, pursuing a passion with a reckless disregard for his safety..." -- THE EXPRESS
This "poor family", which has lived off the coat tails of their John F. Kennedy and his assassination, may be cursed, but the curse is the extinction of their bloodline.
Not since Jonestown has Darwin been so dedicated. He's destined to cleanse the gene pool of the Kennedy clan. His successes to this point have included:
Rosemary Kennedy, mentally retarded, attempts to correct her condition by lobotomy, which fails.
Joseph P Kennedy Jr. dies when his bomber, full of explosives, blows up over the English Channel.
Kathleen Kennedy dies in a plane crash.
Patrick Kennedy dies two days after a premature birth.
John F Kennedy is assassinated.
Robert Kennedy is assassinated.
Edward Kennedy Jr., (Ted's son) loses his right leg to cancer.
Ted Kennedy drives off a bridge in Chappaquiddick and flees the scene without calling the police, leaving his passenger (Mary Jo Kopechne) to drown in the sinking car.
Joseph Kennedy, (Roberts son), is involved in a car accident that leaves a female passenger paralyzed for life.
David Kennedy, (another son of Roberts), dies at age 28 of a drug overdose.
Joseph Patrick Kennedy II (another son of Ted's) seeks treatment for cocaine addiction.
William Kennedy Smith rapes a woman on a beach and is tried in court.
Michael Kennedy, (Robert's son) molest his fourteen-year-old babysitter.
Michael Kennedy dies on the ski slopes in a humorous man-meets-tree incident while playing football.
JFK Jr., his wife and her sister disappear (most certainly dead) while flying to Martha's Vineyard, when the amateur pilot takes a nose-dive.
Darwin is in his right mind. The rest of the world cries and mourns a rich playboy whose only societal contribution was being fodder for such intellectual magazines as People and The Enquirer and ladies magazines. People pray in their churches for him, dedicate their newscasts and articles and radio-programs to him. They set up shrines and join in vigils.
When Americans dry their tears enough to watch television, they tune in eagerly to watch the boats move along the established search-grid and hear inane commentary from the uneducated many. Even news-crews from as far away as Germany and Paris are here to document a 'grieving nation'.
The only interesting coverage has been a Northwest Cable News segment questioning why Generation X doesn't seem to care about the death of JFK. After interviewing many of us who are too young to have been alive during JFK's ride through Dallas, they came to the conclusion that we are 'unimpressed' with the death, the infatuation and the news-coverage.
I was unimpressed with the spin that Northwest Cable News put on the segment. Instead of asking why so many people are so infatuated with someone who is nothing more than the son of an ex-president, they ask why we are so jaded and heartless.
We don't come from a generation where we faint over our favorite actors or musicians.
While the old-folks are bemoaning their favorite self-centered heroes, it is good to know some people have outgrown the age of blubbering, unrequited fandom.
In every news-cast, there is a testimonial from some heart-stricken soul who tells us that JFK Jr. was a down-to-earth, normal guy who was no more special than the rest of us. "That is why he is such a good man", they say.
Perhaps that's one of the most insulting things in the coverage of this incident. JFK Jr. was a normal man. He wouldn't know a day of hard work if it crawled inside his ass and spawned a time card. Anything he's accomplished has been based on his surname and a googly-eyed generation that longs for the good old days where Kennedy botched military invasions and fucked blonde-bombshells. JFK Jr. held no public office. He had accomplished nothing for society. What separated him from the rest of America was his money. And because of his money, every church in the nation has set aside moments of prayer and the president holds a press conference for him.
Despite any true contribution by John, one must realize that he is probably the best seed to sprout from that horrible and despicable family. He has never raped, murdered or molested anyone. He's tried his hand at acting, spoken at democratic national conventions, and published a rather well accepted magazine, George.
But the question begs to be acknowledged: Would a truly normal, down-to-earth guy' be afforded all of this attention? If your mother or brother or best friend attempted a half gainer into the Atlantic in an airplane, would the world grieve? Would they give a damn?
Would the United States government move three KH-11 photographic satellites in their orbit to pass over your loved one's entire search area?
Or would they be a three second blurb on the local newscast and a soon to be closed 'mystery'?
Like John F. Kennedy on a cool Dallas morning, this one is a no-brainer.
- fin -