Though I may not have lived a virtuous life, at least I can say I've lived

I've done Bad Things in my time. I've been caught for some of them. I've done some morally dubious things and some things that are just plain wrong. But I've also done a hell of a lot of Good Things and I know for a fact that the good stuff outweighs the bad.

All of which is beside the point. Whether I've done good things or bad things is completely irrelevant; the important thing is, I've done things. I was involved in a love triangle aged thirteen. I was arrested and taken in for questioning by the Ministry of Defence Police in the same year. I've had whirlwind romances and long drawn-out ones that rot from underneath.

I've sailed to Holland, and navigated across the English Channel. I am one of probably only twenty people in the world who know empirically what tall-ship battle was like. I screwed my evil employer and laughed about it later. I'm studying at a world-class university. I've deliberately defrauded a guy with a loaded SA-80. I've publicly insulted the ex-commander of the SAS.

I've been to Cambridge. I've seen a partial eclipse of the Sun. I know everything there is to know about the Battle of Trafalgar. I've drunk neat Angostura Bitters. Twice.

Okay, I'm only twenty years old. But I've done a hell of a lot in those twenty years, and I'm going to keep doing more. And when I'm lying on my deathbed I can lie back and relax. I may not have done everything I wanted to do, but no one does. And I'll have done a lot of it.

I couldn't ask for any more than that.