I don't consider myself an asshole in the usual case, so let me qualify that remark about giving the finger. I've actually never responded that way, but I almost have a couple of times. I remember one was when this really obnoxious ex-girlfriend of a friend of mine was here. She offered me a beer and someone else offered up "Vineet doesn't drink." She turned to me and gave me a heartfelt "Oh, that sucks. I'm sorry."
Sorry? I thought. I certainly don't need your pity.
Generally people ask me with some degree of respect and even sometimes envy. I try not to let it go to my head, though. My short answer is that "I don't feel like I need it." That's good enough for some, but sometimes it goes on a bit more:
I'm a big fan of if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Remember this is the guy who will walk into a restaurant 3 times a week for 4 years and order the same damned thing every time. I don't think I'm boring, I kinda just like to leave well enough alone. That part is the same as the reason I don't eat veggies.
But it's not as haphazard as that simple explanation makes it sound. I have given it a lot of thought. I kinda see it as something I'd need a reason to start doing, rather than something I need a reason not to do. I sometimes ask people why they do drink. The usual responses are "to fit in," "to be social," and "to let loose." I think I do all right covering all three of these on my own.
I've been told by people that my nonchalance is astounding regarding my stress levels towards school and other "big responsibilities." I guess I'm lucky enough to get by without stressing. I've never been really stressed out over anything. When it comes to socializing, I have my barriers. So far, though, I've never been in a situation where I haven't been able to let them down. I've never felt unable to let loose and socialize, so no catalyst seems necessary.
There are a couple of reasons I've come up with through my own observations, that people either aren't aware of or can't say aloud. I sometimes see people using alcohol as an excuse to act a little dumber. I don't mean that in a bad way. Consider the man who can't get on the dance floor until he's had a few drinks, or the kid who can't go up and talk to a girl without a little liquid courage. I am not those people. I'll dance when I want to dance, and I'll talk to the women I'm going to talk to without needing any form of crutch.
So fine, it's not a necessity for me. But it's fun, right? Why not give it a try?
I can have my fun. And if I want a drink in my hand, nothing beats a Pepsi. There are more obvious reasons not to drink, too. I've seen plenty of alcohol abuse, and I've had to clean up after plenty of it as well. I'm talking about all kinds of cleanup, from mild to just not cool: Holding back a puker's hair. Babysitting for hours. Staying up and watching someone sleep so they don't drown in vomit. Cleaning up plenty of vomit. Driving people home. Carrying people home. Carrying people to the Emergency Room. Calling 911 when my friend got hit by a drunk driver. Caring for drunken injuries. Filling in memories. Helping straighten out BLTs.
Someone once asked me if I didn't drink because I was a control freak. Later that night I ended up being the only one able to talk to the Fire Department, cleaning up $1200 worth of damage to my kitchen, and calling an ambulance for my roommate.
I'm not even militantly saying everyone should give it up, or that anyone should aspire to follow my lead. I just wish more people could acknowledge that it's a reasonable conclusion to have reached for myself, and let me have it.
I don't think that's too much to ask.
I kinda see it as something I'd need a reason to start doing, rather than something I need a reason not to do
I totally agree with that. The process of starting to drink has been naturalised as part and parcel of growing up, and I did start drinking with the rest of my friends during my teens, because it just seemed like something we were supposed to do. However, when I finally did think about it on a conscious level, I realised that not drinking was an option, and in fact the preferable one. I don't have alcoholism in my family, but I was aware that alcohol has more negative health effects than most people are aware of. So basically I made the decision to experiment with growing up as a non-drinker and see how I liked it.
Although I never said to myself: "I will never drink", ten years on I am now a confirmed non-drinker. I have never come across a reason to drink, and I doubt that I will at this stage in my life. I have not missed out on anything as a result, my social life is entirely normal, and I regularly visit the pub.
The only caveat is that, as a foodie, I am sometimes tempted to take up drinking wine, because everybody tells me that it complements food so well. However, not drinking gives me so many benefits that I can live with having water with my meal. Also, I'm not an obsessive, "no drop shall pass my lips" non-drinker, so I can taste a drop of wine or whatever, when I care to.
But I also understand why your argument doesn't go over well. You attempt to logically justify your decision, not to drink, but your argument isn't logical. It implies that there are exactly two cases in which people drink:
I'm not suggesting that this fact should change your decision not to drink. I'm suggesting that, without recognizing it, you've constructed a flawed argument against anyone drinking. It's probably just an emotional response to the abuse you've taken for your decision, but it comes off as sort of smarmy.
You don't need an excuse or an argument not to drink. Personal preference. End of story.
First off, DaVinciLeo's reasoning assumes that everyone who drinks does so to excess. I drink because I like the taste of fine alcohol (I can't stand the cheap shit), be it wine, beer, mead, or hard liquor. Wine really makes a fine meal complete. I do not drink to excess -- I've been three sheets to the wind (as opposed to merely tipsy) twice in my life, and both were under conditions where I knew I was safe for the night.
Second, the negative health effects are from prolonged, heavy drinking -- not social drinking, alcoholic drinking. The latest studies indicate social drinking is in fact good for you. Certain compounds in red wine are good for the ciculatory system; relief of stress is another health plus. A glass of wine every day or two is good for your heart and your mind.
And I might add, good for your palate.
Now, people of the US (and of England and other countries ...), let me remind you that there is a fine line, nay, a fucking big football field between not drinking at all and being drunk (or a drunkard). I tasted alcohol first ... I don't even remember, I must have been four, and it was wine. I did not like it, and at the time I did not like cabbage, spinach, mustard and a lot of other foods. Later on, my food horizons expanded: and with them the alcohol came, and it made sense. I am still learning, though. Only recently I tried Sauterne and Tokay, two wines that would probably break Ryano's resolve. Hardly a day passes that I do not drink a glass of wine (or beer), usually with meals. Nonetheless, in thirty years of life I have been drunk ... probably five times, of which two were mistakes, one was innocence, and the other two intentional.
Am I an alcoholic ? I don't think so. Do I think that people and institutions that make a big deal of the subject of drink are a bit funny ? Yes. Of course, excepting personal tragedies like alcoholic families ...
Note - In this particular node, drinking is shorthand for "drinking, drugging, and smoking"
Obviously YMMV but the reason I don't drink is that I used to.
I was born with one of those personalities/genotypes/whatever that lent itself to addictive behavior. Or maybe it was because on my upbringing. Regardless of why or how, by the time I quit drinking, it was all I was doing. I went to work, I came home, and I drank. I never drank at work, and my drinking never directly interfered with my work (although I was usually a wreck from 9 to 2), and I never got into trouble with the law. After work and after I did everything that needed to be done, I sat on the couch and drank and drank and drank. At parties I drank. Alone, I drank. I drank to be social, to be antisocial, to kill a hangover.
Finally, I was granted a moment of insight to where I saw what I was doing with my life. More accurately, what I was not doing. I chose to get off the couch, but I couldn't do it with a bottle in my hand. So I quit. 18 months now, and I am still sober.
Some people don't drink because when they do it consumes their lives. I know, because I am one of them.
Feel free to kill this or downvote it, but I feel like this was a point of view not well represented.
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