puppy-killing research

created by Jet-Poop

(thing) by Jet-Poop (5.4 hr) (print) ? (I like it!) 3 C!s Tue Jan 04 2000 at 20:48:40

The multinational corporations of the world are always looking for new ways to serve you better. That's why we strive to be on the forefront in the latest puppy-killing research.

We select only the cutest and most adorable puppies in the land. Then we kill them in devious, inspired, and extremely painful ways. Why do we do it? We do it for you. We know that you want the best hamburgers, automobiles, cola, lipstick, military hardware, cigarettes, and/or coffee available, and we know that the best way to bring it to you is wax a large number of little puppies.

Or at least that's what we told Congress.

Suckers.

This product was tested on cute, furry animals with big, sad eyes	Dead Puppies	evil corporation	research
Touch the Puppy	puppy dog eyes	Thievery Corporation	$400 off is a sucker bet
Experiments and Surveys	It is not legal to make us sterile	emo	Lush
wax	February 26, 2004	The Early Purges	Coffee
Chicken Run	Red Hot Chili Peppers	The Perfect Puppy	Bloom County
December 27, 2002	May 29, 2003	Waste of Time	Congress

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