robot insurance

(idea) by Illumina (1.2 d) (print) ? (I like it!) 3 C!s Wed Oct 10 2001 at 18:34:29

Sold by Sam Waterston in the Saturday Night Live commercial for Old Glory Insurance. Here is an abridged description:

Interior, old lady's living room

Gladys: It's so hard nowadays, with all the gangs and rap music.

Erma: "What about robots!?!"

Phyllis: "Oh, they're everywhere!"

Erma: "I don't even know why the scientists make them."

Ethyl: "Aaron and I have a policy with Old Glory that covers us in case we're attacked by robots."

Erma: "An insurance policy with a robot plan ? Certainly I'm too old..."

Cut to Sam standing in front of Old Glory Logo.

Sam: "I'm Sam Waterston of the popular TV series Law and Order. As a senior citizen you're probably aware of the threat robots pose. Robots are everywhere and they eat old peoples medicine for fuel.

Cut to man in large 50's robot suit barging into old persons bedroom and stealing his medicine, Sam continues in voice-over:

"Well now there is a company that offers coverage against the unfortunate event of a robot attack.

Old Glory will cover you with no health checkup or age consideration.

You need to feel safe, and that's harder and harder to do nowadays because robots may strike at any time.

Cut to pie chart showing "Cause of death in persons over 50 Years of age: Heart Disease 42% ROBOTS 58%

...And when they grab you with those metal claws you can't break free, because they're made of metal, and robots are strong.

Now, for just 4 dollars a month you can achieve piece of mind in a world full of crime and robots with Old Glory Insurance

So don't cower under your afghan any longer, make a choice, Old Glory Insurance, for when the metal ones decide to come for you....and they will."

WARNING: Persons denying the existence of robots may be robots themselves.

printable version
chaos

Americans' inability to distinguish between England and Britain	Goddammit, I should never have built that giant killer robot	The Ominous Mail Delivery Robot	Battling Seizure Robots
Sam Waterston	fish brain robot	Old Glory	renter's insurance
Chinese Christianity	Giant killer robots engage in radar sex!	Rise of the robots	Space Runaway Ideon
My Name Is Quizro	Senior Citizen	Kenny G	Saturday Night Live
The bored who complain	voice-over	Robots	Red Robot World Domination
The Japanese cultural obsession with giant robots	integral	Target Earth	Shrouded Isles

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