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avisodomy

created by mE123

(idea) by conform (16.5 hr) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 2 C!s Sun Jul 03 2005 at 4:19:35

The following writeup contains descriptions of acts which are disturbing, impractical, illegal, and probably more fiction than reality. Consider yourself warned.

Once upon a time... this node was occupied by a simple, if somewhat implausible, definition of its eponymous term. Roughly stated, the practice involved penetrative intercourse with a bird, through the only orifice suitable for such a task -- the cloaca. Further, we were informed, in order to maximally realize the pleasure potential (for, presumably, the penetrator) of this act, at the moment of release, the neck of the animal was to be broken, causing spasms of the cloaca that (we may infer) the practicing avisodomist found to be simply divine.

"Gross," thinks the typical reader, and wanders off through the nodegel to daylog about the quality of the Sprite consumed for lunch.

"BULLSHIT!" cries the eager sceptic (your humble narrator), who promptly sprints away to Google to find fodder for a hasty refutation.

What I found, it turns out was somewhat more subtle than that. To quote myself, circa October 2001:

    "The Google search turned up primarily exact duplicates of the text of (the long since deleted parent writeup), which appears to be a cut and paste from the Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices. A more complete description appears several times in search results and appears to be taken from the title Cradle of Erotica, by Allen Edwardes and R.E.L. Masters, who in turn cite the Marquis de Sade as having claimed that the practice, employing turkeys, was provided for in Parisian brothels of the day. De Sade, however, was given to the occasional flight of fancy, especially in matters sexual, and I would question his reliability as a witness (doubly so, as a specific citation for the de Sade claims was not provided in the snippet found online).

    "At any rate, your author finds the practice abhorrent, and politely requests that you don't do it.

    "postscript: "Avisodomy" is also a track from the EP 'Erector', by the band Whitehouse, about whom I know absolutely nothing."

And that, one might imagine, would be that. However, it has come to my attention that there has been a (please pardon the unavoidable mental imagery that follows) veritable explosion of avisodomy on the Internet. Where once one might find a bare handful of references, virtually all of which were drawn from the same definition posted here, now there are over SEVEN HUNDRED hits on Google. Cecil Adams has alluded to the subject in a Straight Dope column; website BayCityBlues.com offers the practice as a phone sex option. It appears that while many or most of these links (please note: I did not check them all) are still rehashes of the same material, it is certainly the case that avisodomy is ever closer to penetrating the psyche of the everyday middle class.

Like adrenochrome, or rainbow parties, or the next apocryphal fad hovering just around the corner, one can't condone such behaviors. But given the willingness of your typical neighbor or Senator or media outlet to run screaming for the hills at the slightest sign of antisocial behavior, I can't help but find some mild amusement in the mental image of an emergency meeting of the PTA: "You have no idea what the boys are up to today..."


printable version
chaos

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