Before elimiDATE, The Bachelor, Blind Date, Joe Millionaire, Temptation Island, A Dating Story, Change of Heart, The 5th Wheel, Singled Out and countless other crappy dating game shows (sadly, despite the length of the previous list, there are many, many more), there was the king of crappy dating game shows: Love Connection. This syndicated show, hosted by Chuck Woolery and running for a ridiculous 11 seasons (1983-1994) before disappearing into the archives of the Game Show Network, dared to delve into the questionable realms of matchmaking by consensus and the American public's voyeuristic thirst to peer into the love lives of complete strangers.

There is no such thing as a tasteful game show; this genre, by definition, incorporates a certain amount of tackiness, and Love Connection was no exception. The set was festooned with gigantic pink hearts and overstuffed faux leather furniture. The theme song sounded like it had been composed and performed on one of those dinky Casio mini keyboards that were ubiquitous during the 1980s. And let's not forget Chuck Woolery himself, the poor man's Dick Clark, whose plasticine features, impossibly white smile, and smooth baritone voice would, with all the seduction of a toothpaste commercial, invite viewers back time and time again to "make a love connection."

In short, it was a pop culture classic.

The Rules

Explaining the rules of Love Connection to someone who has never seen the show can be a bit confusing, because the matchmaking portion occurred at the end of an episode, and then the couple would come back at the beginning of the next episode to describe their date. Thus, in logical (but not chronological) order:

The Last 10 Minutes of the Show

Chuck Woolery introduced the next contestant, who may be male or female (in the beginning of the show's run, they tried to consecutively switch between the sexes, but as time wore on, it seemed that most of the contestants were female). After inviting the contestant to sit on the loveseat, Woolery would politely pump them for information about themselves and the qualities they were looking for in prospective dates. This part of the show invariably sounded like unimaginative personal ads: "Well, Chuck, I enjoy candlelit dinners, long romantic walks on the beach, and hiking through the great outdoors. I'm looking for someone fun, caring, and with a great sense of humor." Often, the male contestants would additionally require their prospective date to be "fit and trim."

After meeting the contestant, it was time to meet the three potential dates. For each possible match, we would see a photograph with the date's name, age, and occupation printed across the bottom, complete with space age teletype sound effects. Love Connection's dating pool seemed to be dominated by marketing reps and communications students, with very few rocket scientists. After this short introduction, each potential date presented a personal anecdote in a 10-20 second video clip, a practice that was obviously influenced by the recent popularity of video dating services. These video clips were selected by the producers of the show from approximately 15 minutes of footage recorded for each person, and were carefully engineered to make each potential date appear as freakish or asinine as possible.

Having introduced all of the players, it was time for the studio audience to vote on the potential date that they favored. In front of each audience member's chair, there was a small rectangular device with three buttons, one for each possible match. The voting process took about 30 seconds, during which time a running tally was displayed in the bottom left corner of the screen, where the viewers at home could see it, but the contestant could not. After all of the votes were in, the contestant had a choice: they could either take a gamble by going on a date with the person that the audience selected, or they could select a date of their own choosing. Contestants generally chose the latter. Either way, Love Connection would pay for an evening of entertainment.

The First 20 Minutes of the Show

While Love Connection was hardly revolutionary in terms of subject matter (The Dating Game predated it by nearly two decades), it was one of the first relationship game shows that explored what happens after the matchmaking process takes place. The bulk of each episode focused on the participants' description of their blind date. Once again, the contestant was seated on the loveseat to the left of Chuck Woolery, while his or her date remained backstage, taking part in the proceedings by means of a closed-circuit television camera and a mammoth television screen located on Woolery's right. As this was long before the days of Jerry Springer and the skyrocketing popularity of televised brawls, there really wasn't any legitimate reason to keep the selected date sequestered backstage. This setup may have been a gambit to enhance the "he said, she said" feel to the whole affair, or perhaps it was an attempt to exploit the (then) significant coolness factor intrinsic to the ownership of a brand spanking new big-screen TV.

The parallel universe encapsulated by Love Connection is a system of extremes. There are only two types of blind dates: the good and the ugly. In this context, a good date ends with at least one, and preferably both, involved parties getting laid, maybe even with each other. The ugly date is rife with tears and verbal fisticuffs. Contestants never experienced the more ordinary sort of blind date, pregnant with awkward silences as one picks at one's dinner while assiduously avoiding small talk, ending the ultimately forgettable encounter with a stiff hug and a lukewarm, "Well, this was nice." And if they did, they lied about it. For his part, Chuck Woolery spent most of this part of the show faking sympathetic laughter and cracking jokes at the contestant's expense.

After recounting the blind date in all of its gory minutiae, the contestant once again arrived at a crossroads. After recapping the three potential dates presented during the previous episode, the results of the audience vote were finally revealed. The contestant could choose to go out on a second blind date with the audience favorite, thereby prolonging the agony with another return trip to the studio to describe it. Or they could attempt to recover their dignity and call it quits. Generally, when the first blind date went poorly, the contestants opted out of a future date, no matter whom the audience selected. If the first date went well, the contestants only chose a second date if it would be with the same person (although there were a few memorable occasions when a contestant ended their first date with the walk of shame, only to choose a different second date).

A Lasting Legacy

Really, the part of Love Connection that made the most impact on American pop culture was a peculiar mannerism that Chuck Woolery perfected while hosting the show. Woolery, with a smarmy grin, would cryptically utter the phrase "back in two and two" while raising his fist with the index and middle fingers extended, showing the camera the front of his hand, and then flipping it to show the back. If you're a hippie, a gesture of this type might be a symbol of peace. If you're Richard Nixon, it means victory. If you're Hammer, you are informing all of the baggy panted teenyboppers that you're 2 Legit 2 Quit. However, if you're Chuck Woolery, this gesture means, "Stay tuned! We'll be right back, after a commercial break that lasts two minutes and two seconds."

During the original run of the show, there were two commercial breaks: one just before the first contestant launched into their description of their date, and another before the second contestant embarked on the matchmaking process. After Love Connection hit reruns, additional commercial breaks of varying lengths were often inserted, rendering this gesture meaningless. Woolery took the "two and two" gimmick with him as he continued his career as a game show host, making it a fixture on several other programs. He finally dropped this annoying habit while hosting Greed, undoubtedly because FOX opted for more frequent breaks of shorter duration for the prime time show.

Money Can't Buy You Love, But Humiliation on National Television...

Perhaps the biggest reason behind the longevity of Love Connection was the show's pittance of a production budget: for that "all expenses paid" dream date, the producers forked over a princely sum of $75, an amount that remained static despite the considerable inflation that occurred during the show's 11 year run. By 1994, that was enough to buy a tank of gas, dinner for two at a local soup kitchen, liquor, rubbers, and some smokes to share in post-coital bliss. Make it an afternoon date, and you might be able to squeeze in a couple of bargain matinee movie tickets. What more does one need?

For some folks, the answer is: nothing. The producers claim that the game show was directly responsible for at least 42 marriages and 22 births (many of the unfortunate tykes ended up with the name "Chuck" or "Charlene").

Sources:
http://www.gameshownetwork.com/gsn_press_article.php?press_id=81