because i don't want to be tori amos and proclaim myself a goddess while calling myself a slut? because i won't be a pious and pure martyr to eternally deferred gratification? i don't want a white wedding.

i'm not that kind of girl.

i want experience, because it lends power and purpose to my philosophizing. i want to know what i can have and do and not accept the assertions of sadder but wiser types who warn about mistakes that change you forever. i am proud that i can approach things in an emotional realm with a perspective owing much to the scientific method and draw my conclusions from my experiments and not from popular mythology and the memes of a conflicted society.

please forgive me if i fail to blush girlishly or my kiss surprises you and i prove your judgment of me wrong. understand that your concept of me, if you decide to chastise me, becomes superfluous. understand that i've heard it all before and your misconceptions are no longer novel.

but if you can appreciate the need to know and the hunger for things done without inhibition in the name of enlightenment, you've won my respect. because i don't want to be alone with a scarlet letter on my chest, but i won't stop living my life out of fear. the people who can meet me there and laugh about it, who don't shake their fingers at one another, make it so much less scary. we can all be unashamed together.