Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "Arthur Wellesley was noted for the unusual size and length of his nose - he was called emConky/em by his troops."

• He had a prison of brass built in the hole, and then, when it was finished, he locked up his daughter
• When he was five, his father made him murder his imaginary friend.
• He stretched out his arms but she was not there
• I'm the only person who'd ever told him to his face he was beautiful.
• When he was little, he laughed in his sleep.
• All the while he was talking she was thinking what his whiskers would feel like on the back of her neck
• As I looked back, he was reveling in his own feces
• Johnny Clueless was there, with his Simulated Wood-Grain
• His love was enormous; it cleared rooms that desperately wanted to be full.
• His ex-wife was so frigid, her clitoris was only the tip of the iceberg.
• His collection of substances that should not exist was stolen. The thieves then killed themselves 1000 times over.
• My man was shot for his sheep coat
• I was discovered by scientists, what will they call me?
• judge a captain not by his shipwrecks, but by whether or not he blames the sea
• because his heart was heavy, closing, like a tired eyelid
• Amakuni once drew an old sword of his from a box, suddenly overjoyed by something he had cast aside.
• unfortunately, his entire corpus was composed in English, and so has been lost to the ravages of time
• It Was a Lover and His Lass
• In the end, he could quiet his mind only by dying
• I was floating in the ocean of his eyes.
• The cult leader poured himself a drink and started on about his plans, and I wondered how the priest was getting on
• but you had his eyes and that was sort of almost enough
• His version was better
• He tells me that I could have his heart and I want to take it right then, slip it into my pocket and run
• Mr. Lunch liked to chase birds. In fact, he was a professional.
• Jacques Chirac was shot in the head by a fascist named Jean-Marie Le Pen
• The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
• Wheresoever he went, there was Eden
• Tribute by Senator Edward M. Kennedy to his Fallen Brother, Robert
• Marilyn Monroe was a size 16
• smiling in photographs was a concept introduced by Kodak
• I was taken by a honeymoon scam
• He was an ant on an ill-defined mission. She was the trapdoor spider of love.
• In a quiet grove of pines under a frosty sky, he helped her out of the sack. She wore severe white hospital pajamas and was beautiful.
• He was there, and then he wasn't, and with him went those memories
• Speech given by a U.S.M.C. Drill Instructor to his platoon, Camp Pendleton, 1998
• He was hard in all the wrong places
• My lunch money was stolen by a predatory Mars rover
• In Which Ethel Gao Gets Off His Butt and Accepts the Call
• Electronically, I was questioned by a mallard of flame…
• He found a liquid cure for his landlocked blues
• He's a feminist. He tells that to all his mistresses.
• He Was a Crook
• All he left her was alone
• So he's dressed a little differently and he has a halo-like light above his head.
• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• He lived in southern California with his tanned, powdered mother
• he is too shy to write his tale
• When I was 21, he was building a Time Machine
• He was a man stuck between the objective and the subjective
• What was stolen by someone else
• Or he'll just kick me in the face and scream abstract noises and dance around outside in his underwear and have sex with the neighbor's dog and try to fly by jumping off the toilet
• He just left his body
• Phosphor reading by His own Light
• They wrote it all in perl but it was mostly system calls
• she was waylaid by an octopus
• How many times has God twiddled his thumbs before he put vertebrates on the Earth?
• "I see," said the blind man to his deaf wife as he picked up his hammer and saw
• Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few
• At least he was gentle
• The Abridged Edition: She was to one side, he was to the other, an untested bridge between them
• It was 1992. He smiled.
• If a frog had wings, he wouldn't kick his tail when he jumped
• He thinks a path and travels the emptiness that was there
• He was confirming to himself that they were laughing with him after all
• His memory perishes from the earth, and he has no name in the street.
• It's easier to kick a praying man, because he's on his knees already
• He was born with the gift of logic but the inability to use it
• He was found
• I should ask my barber where he gets his hair cut, then go there and slowly make my way up the chain
• I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy
• Jesus said, "I love him, for he is my brother." He was talking about everyone.
• The Book of King Arthur and His Noble Knights of the Round Table
• He made a way to his anger
• YHWH declares that the substitution of LOVE with FUCK is punishable by AIDS; man responds by covering his member with plastic
• My Singing was Stolen by Whispers to a False Friend
• making certain he was touching her
• Once there was a bug in a hole that he dug
• it was years before they met again, by chance
• every secret thing was made by some one
• I don't remember what her name was so let's call her Doris
• Where was that stooped and mealy-colored old man I used to call poppa when the merry-go-round broke down?
• but fuck, it was Sunday and the church bells hadn't even called the faithful
• "He was a terrible man," she sobbed, between bites of alimony
• Then again, maybe he was recruiting for a cult
• As the band laughed, her finger traced his spine, and he folded into her
• Oedipus-Schmedipus, as long as he loves his mother
• Then the father hen will call his chickens home
• She didn't write like Emily Dickinson, but she did live in a house overlooking a cemetery, and I guess he thought that was important.
• I'm not HIS sister; he's MY brother
• She grew a little older, while he was telling her
• He wasn't programmed to be a tenor, he was programmed to be a physician!
• I knew enough about him to know his name and what kind of snowball he could make
• An ocean away and here he was, seeping into her
• He will have the taste of warm ripe fruit in his mouth
• I saved his life. He does not know it.
• Of King Sigmund's last battle, and of how he must yield up his sword again
• He is honest and forthright with strangers. He reserves his lies for his family
• Meanwhile, the PILOT, who has been laughing hysterically through the entire sequence, finally loses it. He falls out of his chair and bangs his head against the panel, causing the ship to lose control and crash into a nearby planet
• why is the great man great? he keeps on running through a world of his own.
• Tom, He was a Piper's Son
• He Had Not Where To Lay His Head
• He throws his heart down like a gauntlet
• She had become a mutton for punishment and he was a wolf
• The girl didn't know if she was loved until he said yes.
• He wakes up everyday, puts an empty gun in his mouth, and pulls the trigger.
• He was like the bottle of Champagne Krug
• he listened so well, he was still curious.
• He was the kind of man who shacked up for shelter
• I kicked the Martian in his otherworldly balls, and he screamed like the solar wind howling through a planetary magnetosphere
• She was coming out as he was going in.
• The class valedictorian was still tripping balls when he was bailed out in time to give the commencement speech at graduation
• He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
• The Trial: Andrew Johnson was not guilty of the crimes for which he was impeached.
• He who does not forget his first love will not recognize his last
• The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist
• No important data was harmed by the ILOVEYOU worm
• I was supposed to be somebody by the age of 23
• The male libido - or - How I was castrated by the 90's
• That time I was almost killed by scary cult children
• some say he was never here at all
• he was a punk poet himself
• My first and last attempt at a one night stand was raided by the police
• Upon the Translation of the Psalms by Sir Philip Sidney, and the Countess of Pembroke, his Sister
• When she was new, she rolled around the sky like a black umbrella blown by the wind
• I was hit by a train that doesn't really exist
• That's Just How He Was
• Food which was intended as such by nature
• He Would Close His Eyes, and the World Would Burn.
• I was raised by the French government
• mr. T pities the fool regardless of whether he is wearing his seatbelt
• She walked by his desk and left a nickel
• By morning I will have erased all traces that I was ever here
• There was a Man Dwelt by a Churchyard
• He Was Only Joking
• In the movie of his life, the part of Keanu Reeves will be played by a block of wood, and the critics will pan it for being too expressive
• That Thursday the Universe was curved in the morning and was flat again by afternoon
• he was alive, and some of the other people, they were carbon copies
• For every rich man who tries to leave this world for a better one with his fancy tomb surrounded by mourners, there are many more who perish alone in the cold, forgotten by all but God.
• By evening I will have returned all traces that I was ever here
• I Was Kidnapped By Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
• She was most amazed by the obvious, like January and the fact that I could not possibly keep her.
• The German textbook that was written by Morrissey
• He began to learn that waste flows downstream. Imagine his surprise.
• And then I broke his nose
• It was too late by the time the robots came and I couldn't, I just couldn't
• By morning I will have erased all traces that I was ever a bear
• Zuigan calls his own master
• If you become lucid, you realize history's greatest literature was being written as you read it ...by yourself.
• Of Gods and Men: Who Was This Man Called the Christ?
• Regin's tale of his brothers, and of the gold called Andvari's Hoard
• The other day I saw a gas station called Space Age! I was not fooled!
• Call me back when hair starts growing on his palms
• This was my mountain. You call it your valley.
• In Which Ethel Gao Does His Damnedest To Refuse The Call To Adventure
• He's dead, Jim. You grab his wallet, I'll grab his tricorder.
• Where was that stooped and mealy-coloured old man I used to call poppa when the merry-go-round broke down?
• He Died with a Felafel in His Hand
• Shaymus is older than I thought he was
• How the Old Woman Took Care Of Candide, and How He Found the Object of His Love
• I don't know where he gets his words but I like them
• More than he was willing to give
• To me he is a daisy and I keep trying to count his petals
• I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
• How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle and How He Was Driven Thence
• I had to call my father this evening and tell him I was dying.
• A man with a tapeworm up his nose
• Facts Concerning the Late Arthur Jermyn and His Family
• I married him because he was not mean
• He weaves his words
• She doesn't know what he sees, but sometimes it makes his face beautiful
• It was late when he came home; it woke you up
• Donald Duck was banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants
• He dreamt he was a bulldozer, she dreamt she was alone in an empty bed
• So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
• He flops over and bonks his head
• He called me Sarah once
• Arthur Wellesley

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