Being a true and honest transcript of my keynote of the same name at the 1st International Noder Symposium on Malarkey Studies

Int. Exhibition Hall. Day.

MUSIC: "Love Me Like You Do," by Ellie Goulding.

Thank you all. Thank you. Thank you for coming. Erm. Oh wait. That bit's later. Let's not get ahead of ourselves here. Christ, this public speaking thing is difficult. It's more than that. It's hard. But not as hard as - Yes, not as hard as that. Thank you.

So. Ropy erotic novels, and the questionable sexual practices depicted therein. I hope you have all, as requested by our organiser, brought your towels, and your STD test results. After all, when people during the pandemic referred to clapping for the NHS, they didn't mean it in having a dose of neisseria gonorrhoeae brexitensis. So I hope everyone is clean. For their sake

I'm going to crash the party here in haq's node, because I'm a jerk like that.

And because I had a vaguely similar experience recently, although one much much much lower down the zen warrior slope than he describes in his writeup.

I tend to not drill with Italian steel like Haq, because I'm a Fudd. I drill with American steel and wood, born in New York State. Not because I am patriotic about where I source my gats (as a Jew with at least

Happy Birthday to me. I am 47 today.

It is genuinely hard to sum up the richness of my life right now, the depth of experience, and the weird ideas I have for the future. I'm setting up goals and having dreams in ways that I would never have allowed myself to do before. I'm doing the work of it all in tandem, attempting to break up older patterns that are holding my back, or at least crying about the parts that are