Happy Birthday to me. I am 47 today.
It is genuinely hard to sum up the richness of my life right now, the depth of experience, and the weird ideas I have for the future. I'm setting up goals and having dreams in ways that I would never have allowed myself to do before. I'm doing the work of it all in tandem, attempting to break up older patterns that are holding my back, or at least crying about the parts that are unchanging in an attempt at acceptance. And I have a support network that is helping me though all of that, even and especially when I start losing sight of things. How strong and weird that all is.
I've done my usual traveling, but this time with the arc pulling further south than I would have ever imagined. Still routing myself through America's Obstacle on a regular basis unfortunately, but sending me upstate per usual. But also Muskoka and The City and Connecticut and Baltimore. Seeing those I love and supporting them through the ceaseless barrage of life experiences and existential crises that come for us all eventually.
I would wish for a quieter year this next year, but I don't believe that is truly what I want. Maybe one with fewer scares, fewer threats. Full to the brim with life but without the panics. I know that's not really an achievable goal, but I hope that for us all. Richness and wonder without worry or fear.
I know we don't life in those times right now, but the hope is maybe the more important part.