(Lights down on BACKSTAGE, up on the BAR.)
SAWYER:
Alright, alright, you’ll like this one.
BARISTA:
Why am I suddenly afraid?
SAWYER:
What did the Mexican firefighter name his children?
(The BARISTA freezes. Pause.)
TAYLOR:
What are you doing?
BARISTA: (Through clenched teeth.) If you don’t … move, they … can’t … see you!
TAYLOR:
Hey, Sawyer.
SAWYER:
Yeah?
TAYLOR:
What did the Mexican firefighter name his children?
SAWYER:
José and hose B!
(BARISTA slowly takes the stunt glass, wipes it off, dramatically shoves it in SAWYER's face before spiking it at the ground.)
BARISTA:
I think I got this across before, but let me reiterate. I. Hate. You.
JORDAN: (Very overactive.)
Well, I love you. I love you. What is this magic juice? I’ve never been this alive! This pure!
BARISTA:
You want to know what that is?
JORDAN:
Yes!
BARISTA:
Really really?
JORDAN:
Yes! Yes!
BARISTA:
How badly?
JORDAN:
Really badly!
BARISTA: Decaf. (JORDAN deflates like a balloon.) Closing time is in 15. You actually going to leave tonight?
TAYLOR:
Aye-aye, cap’n.
SAWYER:
Can we get classy glasses?
BARISTA:
Just for your stupid tradition?
SAWYER:
Just for our stupid tradition.
BARISTA:
Will I ever see them again?
SAWYER:
No.
BARISTA:
I’ll grab you some. (Does so.)
TAYLOR:
Well, see you next week, then.
BARISTA:
Oh joy.
(The PATRONS stagger off, and the BARISTA smiles, mostly because they're coming back.)
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