At least half the time I'm in the bathroom,
I hear people fucking in the shower,
trust me, I know, I can just tell,
and it used to do it for me,
I'd cushion my phantom steps on the way to the stall,
ease the door shut, slide the lock over,
tearing every streamer of thin, beige toilet paper
with the subtle precision of a man that knows.
My body would shut down like a sniper
waiting for the kill shot.
And with my legs asleep, or my throat dried out,
muffling the sound of my breath into an open palm,
I'd try to distinguish her sexual moans
or, I'd hear the sound of skin
slapping hard against wet skin,
like hands lathering soap,
or, probably,
the sound of sex,
and I could hear whispers and, maybe, kissing,
and, once,
three times, I heard the distinctly wet suction
of a sloppy blowjob.
But these two aren't exhibitionists,
they spook easily,
if people come in,
they finish showering, dry off and leave,
they find a different bathroom and shower there,
they do this for hours, always washing,
and sometimes I check on purpose,
I stake out the bathroom for hours,
so I don't blow my cover,
and I never see them,
I have no idea what this couple looks like.
Sometimes, after the shower,
they'll both dry off, and he'll leave,
just walk right out,
and she's still standing there in the shower,
and, once,
she was probably still horny,
I could still hear her muffled staccato breath,
and the sound of the shower head still dripping onto the floor,
and I pushed violently against my mouth,
listening to her masturbate in the shower stall,
until the idea of sitting there seemed ridiculous,
I decided to leave,
just get up and walk out,
but, first,
walk toward the shower stalls,
open the curtain,
pretend I didn't know she was even there,
then I could at least see who this girl was,
standing naked and alone,
in the room with me,
so I did that,
and, walking over to them,
I looked, I looked in all four stalls,
but they were all empty.