Findings:

• Ah, if you should turn out to be a fairy I don't think I'd put you in a jar
• If I'd have shot her when I met her, I'd be out of jail by now.
• what I thought was going to be a turtleneck turned out to be a dickey
• It turns out wanting something doesn't make it real
• Nobody Knows You When You're Down and Out
• It will be good when I am leader
• Maybe when we drown the fish will be our friends
• Choosing bitterness is taking the easy way out. It's so easy to feel bitter when you've been hurt. Path of least resistence. Forgiveness is a path that goes in a very different direction.
• It turns out there are lots of badasses out there flipping coins.
• The end will be a sellout
• It was something that sand out while burning itself up, at the risk that nothing would be left.
• I want to be a whale when I grow up. Or a squid.
• when scalding water starts spraying out of your shower's hot water knob
• So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
• before the internet when teen had REAL relationship the boy could look at the girl and judge the diameter of her thorax with his feelers and determine whether the mating ritual could commence but NO MORE. evil woman use her computer sorcery
• I Turned Out a Punk
• It's hard to be an addict when you're broke
• Questions you will be asked when you study Chinese
• When you know things are just not meant to be
• When you understand the reasons why, you'll still hate our guts
• when you are a seagull I will not be the ocean
• Waiting to be wiped out by natural selection
• Where do they go when they walk out and leave the body behind?
• And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out
• Oh, it turns out YOU have to do all your own driving
• When I turned round...
• and when all the stars have fallen one last time and the skies are crumbling into my hands and the sirens are bleeding out on the beaches and the earth fades; you will remain
• You know you're blacked out when...
• I don't want to be here when you don't call.
• Why people who get the wrong number make it out to be your fault
• Starving in the greenhouse
• When I look into her eyes, I no longer care about what the world thinks. This is what it feels like to be alive.
• When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea.
• I can never be sure if it was real or just another illusion
• Some moments seem too perfect to be real
• It must be morning when she dreams.
• The journey will be worth it when you achieve something greater than what harmed you through the journey
• Out of turn
• When Running Jokes Go Bad
• It was something that sang out while burning itself up, at the risk that nothing would be left.
• We wanted to be together, so we worked it out.
• Wouldn't it suck to be God's mom and not even get laid in the deal?
• When you're born with duckweed in your hair, it never washes out
• When you blow out like a dead star
• The class valedictorian was still tripping balls when he was bailed out in time to give the commencement speech at graduation
• the cutest baker in the room was making sadfaces at me when i walked out
• Turn On, Tune In, Rock Out
• For someone who writes about love as much as I, writing about it when it's real sure is hard.
• The light on the bottom of the pool that you thought was real when you were a child
• Turn the dark cloud inside out
• And when she turned into a man, we were so proud
• The good guys and the bad guys were on the back of the boat and I swear I only turned my back for a MINUTE but when I came back, they'd killed Mozart.
• What to do when a roommate moves out
• I want to be a dirty old man when I grow up
• If you're not smart enough to figure this out on your own, you shouldn't be doing it
• There are times when they seem to be right
• Any fool with a dick can make a baby but it takes a real man to be a father
• I want to be a pirate when I grow up
• When shall I be free?
• I was throwing around useless proverbs when all she needed was to be held and told that she was beautiful
• How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You're Not Anywhere at All?
• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• What do you want to be when you grow up?
• The video cuts out here; nothing more can be determined from the tape.
• how does it feel to be carried out to the trash?
• When I grow up, I want to be a pretzelman
• Salazar won't be turned to stone
• I always sound Irish when I'm trying to be charming
• let's be real
• I was supposed to be dead when this picture was taken
• Out with the Hated Irish!
• It's hard to know what to say when a friend's parent they always hated suddenly dies
• This is immensely rewarding when successful, but can be an extremely intensive and difficult thing to develop and practice
• when in doubt run it out
• I won't tell you the real reason why I hate you, but I'll tell you another which is just as good
• I worry that no matter how hard I pray, you'll always be just out of my reach
• When will Linux be a good gaming platform?
• Will the last to leave kindly turn out the light?
• dig that out real quick
• TURN THAT MOTHER OUT
• I wanna see it when you find out what comets, stars and moons are all about
• when we drill a hole in the sky, what will run out?
• If you want somebody's heart, catch it when they cut it out
• You're not going to be happy until you put someone's eye out
• The best way to learn something is when someone else figures it out and tells you.
• When my inside selves just jump out with wings of fire
• Don't be sexist. Broads hate that.
• when i wake up i can't remember what it was. it's so hard to smuggle something out of a dream.
• There Is No Such Thing As Light/There Is No Such Thing As Darkness/This Shadow Is An Illusion/But Illusions Are Still Real/And I Still Must Step Out Of It
• I remember when we built real forts
• The rock under my foot that told me I was real when I was an adult
• When your imaginary life is interrupted unapologetically by your real one
• The glass is half full when it comes to your life up until this point. The glass is half empty when it comes to everything you've missed out on.
• When did my fiance turn into my security blanket?!
• Knowing you're going to die when you turn 30
• it's hard to turn away when it feels like she's singing directly to you
• we're the only ones to turn to when your castles turn to sand
• You turn the atmosphere wild with currents of vitriol when you smile at the passing insects
• when i get out i'll come and find you cause you're my other half i never told you that
• When in doubt, throw it out
• How it feels to be interviewed (when you know the answers)
• When we finally fall, it will be fast and sure
• This must be the night when I remember how to fly, when the breeze catches my weight at last
• What I want to be when I grow up
• What am I doing here when I could be swimming with the dolphins?
• When the aliens attack my workplace, I'm going to be so damn READY
• I am blind when I want to be
• Artificial intelligence should not be a substitute for real stupidity
• You touched me when I needed to be touched, and for that I will hold you in my heart forever
• It's all right to be filled with hate, people are stupid
• May the world be a better place when I wake up
• I want to be alone until God rips a rib out of my chest and makes me a woman
• When, if ever, will there be permanent peace in the Balkans?
• How to tell when your dog just wants to be friends
• When I grow up (I want to be an old woman)
• Maybe someday I'll be an M&M the color of your eyes
• Spiral, spin, ride the whirlwind, knowing when the drumming stops, there will be no second dance
• I hate you, or why we cannot be friends
• When did you choose to be left-handed?
• When my boat comes in, you will be the first to board
• You know it is going to be a strange day when you wake up dead
• When I rise it will be with the ranks, and not from the ranks
• Tell me what's real and I'll learn to be happy
• How to be strong for her, when all you want is to depend on her
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• When I stop going there, I will be well.
• This is not a joke. It won't be easy. We will rule the world.
• Why are you clapping when you should be screaming?
• I want to be a sherpa when I grow up
• How to tell when a guy just wants to be friends
• Come out of her, my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins, and that ye receive not of her plagues.
• I really came to understand that they were just real people who wanted to live real lives and be treated equally as opposed to, for example, wanting to destroy us.
• When night falls, I will be waiting for you
• When she shouts BE QUIET THE NEIGHBORS WILL HEAR IF YOU'RE NOT QUIET
• It's better to be hated than ignored
• now, when it's nearly impossible to get lost and twice as impossible not to be found
• Taking a wrong turn in Connecticut can be worse than you think
• and i just want to be there when the lightning strikes
• If only our tongues were made of glass, how much more careful we would be when we speak.
• I can only pray that, when I finally leave, I will have done little enough damage to be totally forgotten
• You will never be a real woman
• Martha Be Real
• I'll be happier when the rain stops. But I know I'd be miserable if it never rained again.
• When the one you love can't stop doing something you hate
• Foam on the tide is no more or less real than the sea, it simply is, was, will be
• how loud to you have to be to put out a housefire with just your voice
• Turn On, Tune In, Drop Out
• I Hate It When It Happens To Me
• When I have Fears that I may Cease to Be
• On the beach, by myself. How it turned out.
• turn out
• Look out Haskell, it's real!
• Why I hate when my father tinkers with the computer, and why you should too
• You can still be very hurtful when you do what's right.
• When the log rolls over we will all be dead
• I want the real you - not this superficial being you pretend to be
• Real hackers start their own IRC networks so that they can't be traced by the FBI
• When my ten year old niece found out about masturbation
• Well, I guess I know enough to turn you inside out, old gal, you sockdologizing old man-trap!
• This is what happens, son, when you let your wife's green lung get out of hand
• Why women suddenly come out of the woodwork when a man gets married
• If you want somebody's heart, catch it when they pour it out
• It all turned out all right but there was so much pain along the way
• When all the stars go out at night
• If we define things as unreal, they may still be real in their consequences
• She dumped me when she found out I'd been faking my Scottish accent
• Why don't you just rip my heart out, it would be quicker and less painful
• Her sleeves ride up on her arms when she moves
• This program cannot be run in DOS mode

If you Log in you could create a "I hate it when my jokes turn out to be real" node. If you don't already have an account, you can register here.