It's obvious you've never owned a vagina

Since the offer was made by the writer of "It's Obvious You've Never Owned A Penis", here I am.

Now, listen, men: there's something inherently complex and deadly about the vagina. Those of you who have lived with a woman might know what I mean. It's called menstruation, folks, let's not be afraid of it. That means blood coming out of my body. For nearly a week. And this was not a choice we women actively made. No, we've been gifted with menses and sometimes it's even more of a pain in the ass than having to listen to my father watch Nascar races.

So if a woman happens to be a little bit upset or bitchy during this one week out of the month, you can't honestly blame her, can you? Of course not. And that's where things have been taken too far.

Everytime a woman is upset about anything, or having mood swings, instead of others trying to see what might be wrong, many times her feelings are passed of as mere PMS. Men do this to women. Women do it to each other. It happens, but it's not fair.

Another issue that I have is this: the vagina is a muscle! Muscles do not stretch or become "loose", so let's all keep that in mind the next time a sexually active woman is called "loose." There's also something called Kegel exercises, boys. You should look into them as well because they can prevent incontinence in old age, and further prevent all those problems with hitting the toilet bowl on the first go-around.

What needs to be understood is that the most important relationship a woman will ever have in her life is with her vagina- sometimes it will be ignorable, other times impossible to forget, and constantly loved and hated at the same time. Similar to how some men feel about their penises I suppose- so we aren't all that different after all.

Just to keep in mind.

We seem to be covering the issue of assumptions we make about each other's genitals. I'll be happy to play.

Vaginal Depth

Men, you should be happy about this one. It scores a point for the "size dosn't matter" arguemt. The vagina is only 3.5-4 inches in depth on average. This increases slightly when the uterus lifts during sexual excitement. In other words: don't think what every woman craves is 12 inches.

Urination

Dispite popular belief, woman can urinate standing up. It requires a slight amount of pressure on either side of the urethra. I actually only tried this a couple times, and it has given me newfound respect for men's ability to somewhat reliably hit the toilet. In direct reply to xunker's It's obvious you've never owned a penis, women can contol the speed of urination (at least I can).

Women actually have a surprising amount of trouble hitting the toilet themselves when engaging in "hovering behavior"(see Why must girls squat to pee?). I was unfortunatly exposed to this phenomenon when I lived in a woman's dorm for three years. I implore all women who hover to do what I do when peeing in a public place: lift the toilet seat. We expect men to do it, and it's not like you're sitting on it. Keep it nice and clean for those brave non-hoverers.

Vaginal Odors: They are natural

The vagina does not smell bad. Women do not need to deodorize it. If a vagina smells bad it points to improper washing, the wearing of tight, binding underwear (which prevent natural sweating), or vaginal disease. I have large issues with the array of vaginal deoderants on the market. They are actually very bad for the vagina as they upset the deliacte balance of pH. A woman's vagina has a smell - and that is natural and okay.

The G-spot

Yes, it does exist. It is not a figment of your imagination. Embrace it.

The clitoris

The clitoris is essential to female sexual enjoyment. It is analogous to the nerves at the head of the penis, as they were once the very same bundle of nerves. Sigmund Freud called clitoral orgasm "immature". I remind you that it's obvious he didn't own a vagina.

Some topics that have already been well covered:

Understanding the female orgasm

menstrual cycle

female genital mutilation

unhealthy views of female sexuality

Sexual Myths about women