Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "Likewise I have mastered the art of measured silliness in the classroom as a deflection and deterrent towards bad behavior, and I haven't ever had any actively malicious or disrespectful students since my first semester student teaching, so I don't know how I will handle it should I ever come up with one."

• The ones with their priorities straight don't know how to get what they want, and the ones who get what they want have messed up priorities.
• Have you ever wondered how many gears a car can have? Or: My experiences with an East German vehicle
• i'm afraid i will have to request that no one have the name "john" ever again. Existing "johns" will need to change their names.
• If you EVER come across an empty floor, just know that I'm gonna fuck you up.
• How to know if you will ever experience time travel
• please come stay with me in the forest so at least i have one person with whom i have no secrets
• The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows
• Take it til you make it, break it if you have to, but don't ever fake it.
• I have no proof that he would ever want to kiss or destroy me.
• How can one ever go home? Bangkok, Tokyo, Chicago, then Cleveland
• makes you wonder how you ever felt affection for somebody who could hate you so
• I have given up other interests to help you. It will be a pleasure to know that my labour has not been in vain.
• if you buy into the wizard's bullshit, soon you're all standing waist-deep in things you didn't even know could exist and no one has any clue how to stop him
• If you don't know how to make a mu, you have no business measuring quantities that small.
• How does it feel to know you are one of my bad habits?
• I don't know if these are good flowers or bad flowers, but I picked them for you
• Will the Atomic Bomb Ever Be Perfected, and If So, What Becomes of Robert Heinlein?
• It was one of the worst things I have ever done
• By morning I will have erased all traces that I was ever here
• How long can any one heart be so confused?
• Strange man makes permanent visit
• what if the most important thing you will ever do you have already done?
• By evening I will have returned all traces that I was ever here
• If you don't know where you're going, any path will take you there
• One of the dangers of necromancy is you don't really know who's on the other side or what they're going to give you in return.
• You haven't seen it and you don't understand. I have malice. I have cruelty. The little fire that's always been inside me isn't so little anymore.
• My soul is in a million pieces. I tried to collect most of them, but some are missing, and the ones I have don't fit together anymore. Feel free to take a piece or two.
• I don't know what I don't know, so how do I know what to ask?
• No one has ever died because they DIDN'T have a toothpick
• No one will ever love you for your honesty
• Every morning when I wake up, I feel guilty for all the things I have ever been
• If I ever have kids, I will kick the TV in and hurl it out the window
• No one will ever love Adam for his honesty. It's just not there
• It's not that it all comes back to you. None of it ever leaves you in the first place.
• Did You Ever Have to Make Up Your Mind?
• How to survive student teaching
• You ever have one of those days where you go, "Well. This might as well happen."
• Your first writeup will be nuked: Don't give up
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• we never really fight, so I don't know how this is supposed to go
• How would you know? And how could you ever know?
• One of my IRC friends died and I don't know how to feel
• Don't ever lie. If you lie to your friends, they won't trust you, and you'll have nothing, and you'll never be safe.
• Your first relationship will be nuked: Don't give up
• I don't hate people. Honestly. But the best conversation I've ever had still wasn't as good as the worst catnap I've ever had.
• How could you ever have enough?
• Hold my tomb up to the light and watch me rot forever if you must. But don't you ever ever call me dead.
• Will I ever know?
• Have you ever been so excited about your life that it makes you almost want to cry?
• By morning I will have erased all traces that I was ever a bear
• I don't know how to fall in love with a woman
• The monsters of the past will be long forgotten by the time the general populace is ever forgiven
• I think I was watching the most beautiful thing I have ever seen
• How to scare the Hell out of a Lexus driver, or: Don't take sharp corners at 50mph in the rain
• How my psychology teacher single-handedly ruined art and music for me in one fell swoop
• The best tuna fish sandwich I've ever had
• have given my heart away just as carelessly and as meticulously planned as ever
• An American in Tours
• The most disturbing thing that I have ever seen on the back of a truck
• I only leave the door open because I know that no one would dare to come in.
• How can you arrive anywhere if you don't take that first road trip?
• When life gives you lemons, suck on them. Seriously, lemons taste awesome.
• A lot of houses don't even have anyone to board them up.
• We read your mail so you don't have to
• All I ever needed to know, I learned playing Dungeons and Dragons
• The U.S. Post Office: Benign little organization, or the linchpin of the greatest conspiracy ever?
• Beginning psychology students see abnormal behavior in everybody
• The Last Song I Will Ever Write About a Girl
• the only comfort we could ever have
• Up, because the sky has room for us and more than we can ever make
• or maybe a calm voice, that accent you don't think you have
• if one of us should flicker and vanish, mid-drag, don't bat an eye. claim a spot on the curb and never give an inch.
• I will REMOVE your "All your radical touching base are already occurred to the lesbian monkey puppy" philosophy on me if you don't eat my soy google balls, hatt-baby. Real or malarky?
• There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how
• I would kiss you, but I don't know how to kiss
• I don't know why but I always love episodes without words. like just something about them makes me feel calm or something..
• The one thing I wanted more than anything was for someone, just once, to tell me they don't know what they'd do without me
• Don't try to make the moment last. You can ruin it that way. Just learn to savor it and, when the time comes, learn how to let it go.
• These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
• I'm so sorry my brain works that way
• So what ever happened to Yahweh's drinking buddies?
• A rant about the worst professor I have ever worked with
• When, if ever, will there be permanent peace in the Balkans?
• Snow-white solstice in Switzerland: first ever helvetic nodermeet
• Everything you ever wanted to know about theatre tech, but were afraid to ask
• I'm the most off-beat genius you ever knew; I'm so iconoclastic I'm clastic
• it wouldn't be so bad if people like you would have become ghosts too
• No One Here Is Ever Going to be President: Noders raise things in the city where things fall down
• These are the only minutes you'll ever have. Take good care of them.
• first ever Round Valley Day of Gluttony and Tippling
• Best smoke I've ever had
• Don't lie. Ever.
• you have ghosts. where are they? are they so deep that the light cannot reach them? is there any such place?
• Art has an actual purpose
• Jesus loves you so I don't have to
• I don't have any secrets. Now ask me if I have any lies.
• I have dreadlocks and I don't know where the pot is
• You don't always have to disagree, or agree for that matter
• So you don't have to
• The best part about you is that you don't even know how great you are
• Don't worry, I know how to let go.
• Mexico, or maybe farther. I don't know the details.
• I don't know how to smile
• The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well
• How to argue about something you don't know literally a single thing about
• You don't even know the meaning of the word committed. I'm Andy Kaufman, motherfucker. I will die on this hill I made, in this battle I started, for this prize I already own.
• A reason to drink
• i keep thinking that this rain could last forever and i don't think it could ever stop
• How come there aren't any recreational suppositories?
• Nobody should ever see another's porn collection
• Soulmates who will never ever meet again
• Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?
• I'm probably the best lover I'll ever have
• The first ever Central Maryland Impromptu Noder Gathering
• Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about Silence
• The first bear I ever saw
• I was the worst lay you ever had
• All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in the Dot-Com Apocalypse
• Have you ever seen a despot with a little nose?
• The First Ever E2 Triple Noder Birthday Bash (and Central Florida Cabal gathering)!
• How to determine whether a number is even or odd in any base
• Have you ever made a just man?
• As you graduate from college, you are the most conservative you will ever be
• Have You Ever Seen The Rain?
• All I ever needed to know about unit conversion, I learned from drugs
• We were all waiting to hear those words (and no one ever said them)
• In response to you telling me I have the bluest eyes you've ever seen
• The most interesting job I've ever had
• I've been smoking ever since
• This will be the hardest thing you ever do
• My subconscious is much smarter than I will ever be
• one kiss: bad for me, but i give in so easily. i'm weak.
• oh ever so slowly
• only one justified teardrop ever in the history of the world
• The Lord of the Rings 1/2: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Middle-earth But Were Afraid to Produce
• Have you ever been illusioned?
• every statue in town came to life, but they'd been watching long enough to know better than to ever move
• Baptist fear of dancing
• I will REMOVE the fucking toilet seat if you don't shut up
• Don't ever lend out your pants
• Don't you ever go to work?
• You don't know what you have until it's gone
• The New Face of the BSOD: An Adventure in Password Recovery
• I know you don't read too good so I'll write slow
• don't ever throw stones at your mother
• Don't work at a golf course
• She makes sniffing sounds, and I don't know if she's snorting coke or weeping
• We don't swim in yer toilet, so don't fuck us over or you'll need 2 wheelchairs, fool: An Partie
• You really shouldn't let people you don't know tie you up
• Don't ever forget that I listened to you out of love
• Come back safe; we don't want any dead heroes in this family
• Books Hazelnut Read So You Don't Have To (category)
• World, take care of me. You don't owe it to me, but I don't know any better.
• I will REMOVE the fucking toilet seat if you don't shut up (idea) mp3 (recording)
• I am letting myself down so you don't have to
• Badgers? We ain't got no badgers. We don't need no badgers. I don't have to show you any stinking badgers!
• I am a bassist. Don't you fucking call me a bass player, ever.
• Also, I don't think it's weird that we all love one another so much.
• You're not a good person. You know that, right? Good people don't end up here.
• i am a seedling. i don't even understand how much i have yet to learn.
• I don't know how the fuck you can sleep at night
• You don't know me, but someday you will
• because I have given up any care
• i always want to go back. but i don't know if it's time yet. i have some things i have to do.
• Songs Hazelnut Listened To So You Don't Have To
• they tell you to be your true self. to never give up on who you are. they don't know who i am.
• we are learning how not to forget, but we still don't know what's true
• cover your eyes so you don't know the secret
• Mother died today. Or maybe yesterday, I don’t know.
• You know, life isn't so bad
• Too bad they don't make one for your heart...
• I don't know how to read science fiction
• Using Dao Yin as a martial arts warm up
• The first dollar I ever made
• Somehow it's all connected. I just don't know how.
• The best teacher I ever had
• Have You Ever Walked?
• Will Everything ever stop expanding?
• dr's Hospital Adventure : nurses put up with more than you can ever realize
• No one was ever fired for buying IBM
• I will ever be your combustive tablature of igneous geometries
• No one ever listens to the bassist

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