Is it possible to be a
moral slut? Of course, I wouldn't call myself slutty, but I've had a
roll in the hay (or three...our twelve...I can't remember) with what are now some of my
best friends. I don't really see myself as what you might call
your average slut. I've actually made some pretty amazing pals who I happen to have had
wild pig sex with. Sometimes we dated...sometimes we didn't. But I'm 99.98% sure all parties involved had a
good time.
Sex between friends. Is this what the sixties were about? Okay, maybe it's not as simple as that. But I've come to the decision that there's not a damn thing wrong about it. In fact, these amicable encounters have contributed to a relativley drama-free life. Now I can't say that's the only factor, but to hear the rest of my secrets, you'll have to buy my book. And I have a feeling there's a lot of folks out there who feel the same way.
In twenty-five years, I never have had what my friends commonly refer to as a "slut phase." Random or hook-up sex never turned me on except in fantasy. Of course, the well has never been dry, but I'll admit I've always been a bit picky, and there were a couple of drought seasons. In short, the casual affairs I did engage in always blossomed into some pretty damn incredible friendships. A couple of times I was unfaithful. But when I was, I never slept with someone I had not done before.
That probably doesn't make me a better person. But my reasons were not because I was seeking an escape, but a familiar comfort that included time to talk about things I didn't feel I could share. I don't regret my decisions, but I understand that every choice we make has consequence. It's not as easy to accept as it sounds.
I live my life and I am happy. There is much to have that I want, but what I want is all I have and I make do with that. (Damn, did I just write that? It sounds like fucking gospel to me.) The point is, my views have changed again. I used to look at sex as an expression of really deep love and affection, but the definition has broadened. It's more than that. I still don't believe in hook-ups or a trip to the bath house, but I'm not above keeping a list of good ol' fashioned fuck buddies in my nightstand drawer. They're good guys, ones that I know and respect and enjoy spending time with. Because with them, sex isn't a jewel or a special event, nor is it a mere chance to get off. No, sex is a nice little present that we give to our friends because we like them.