Since becoming a
mother, some of the
weirdest things have escaped my lips. (And no, I don't mean my
teeth...) I have actually found myself uttering the following phrases in the past two
years:
10. Don't run through the
kitchen with
underwear on your
head!
9. If you hit your
sister with that plastic
fish one more time (insert threat here)!
8. Turn that
vacuum cleaner off and stop chasing the
dog!
7. No, I do
not want to know what it sounds like to flush a
banana!
6. What do you
mean, you swallowed the
robot? WHAT
robot?
5. It is not nice to put
food on
strangers. (aside: "Sorry, sir!")
4. It is not nice to
hit! Do you want me to
spank you? (WHAT was I thinking???)
3. Don't
write on your
brother! I don't
care if he asked you to!
2. Honey, you
know momma doesn't like
dead things in her
bathtub.
1. Stop shaking your
sister! Uncle Terry was playing a
joke on you, there's no
money in her
ears.