cutting your own hair

Each lock must be carefully considered.
If it's unruly thick and long wild hair, put it up in clips on top of your head. Stand in front of the mirror. Don't touch that dial.
Stratify it, if that's what you want.
Take it down piece by piece, chop it, however recklessly.
Fuck up; work around it. Give yourself more bangs, or less in general.
Consider the songs on the radio, even if it's not your station; turn your head.

Well, I have just been introduced to the joys of DIY hair care through peer pressure. I used to rely on other human beings for only one thing: cutting my hair. Now I don't need anybody for anything. Isn't that nice?

I think if I ever decide to get a more complex hairstyle than "1/2 inch all the way around" I'll need other people. But for now, I'm set.

I bought a set of Wahl clippers in 1992 to clip off all me hairs or so just before I bicycled cross-country. And I've been cutting my hair and a lot of other people's hairs since then. Last time I did a hair-cutting place was probably 1992 or 1991 or thereabouts.

I like cutting my hair. It's kind of a nice way to sit down every few months and re-evaluate what I look like and play with my hair in the context of my head and face. Like sculpture a bit.

That's the artistic/intellectual answer. The lazy-ass procrastinator's answer is I do it because I'm too fucking lazy to drive 5 or 6 miles and then explain in English using monosyllabic words the hair-cutting person can understand what I think they should do.

The psychotic answer is that I'm practicing to some day grow up and be Sweeney Todd. But don't tell anyone....

I also cut my hair myself. It's not a pretty sight, believe me. I do not have very nice hair, but it is quite abundant and more or less shoulder-length. My method is as follows:

1. I set some newspapers next to the sofa
2. I lie across the sofa with my head sticking out of it, over the newspapers
3. I arrange my hair in a pony-tail, with two bands.
4. I cut the hair between the bands with some normal scissors
5. The cut hair falls on the newspaper and I retrieve the band.

And that's it. It's quite simple and looks reasonable (I will never win a beauty contest, not even if someone fixed my hair). I hope my hair grows longer so that I can see what I am doing. Oh, I usually do that every two months at 1:00 AM.