Findings:
- Life is material; you just have to live long enough to figure out how to use it
- we're just trying to figure out what it all means
- we're made out of nothing
- I miss the way you were before you figured out that I'm not yours
- Finding the origin of a Hotmail message
- How many ways can you say "It's stuff made from soy"?
- You'll never quite know how much you've lost until you get what you were looking for
- If only our tongues were made of glass, how much more careful we would be when we speak.
- We've got all this beauty and just enough time to figure out how to destroy it.
- Finding out where a net user lives
- Where we're headed, you'll be looking backwards
- Getting small animals out of the walls
- How to herd people in public
- How a suicide made me wish I were Superman
- The serpent was in the garden again, but there weren't any apples left in the tree, so I figured things were cool.
- How to replicate a dynamic website quickly without the source code or database
- How to scare the Hell out of a Lexus driver, or: Don't take sharp corners at 50mph in the rain
- Shaving your nuts without permanent injury and/or accidental castration
- How we were, before you were
- How to smoke without getting addicted
- The four problems of surgery, how they were overcome, and when
- How dating pretty boys helped me come out
- How stuff works
- How to use Windows regularly without hating it (much)
- How the Sun, the Moon, and the Wind Went Out to Dinner
- how bikes are made
- How to smell good without the use of perfume
- We Two, How Long We Were Fool'd
- No animals were harmed in the writing of this node
- If you're not smart enough to figure this out on your own, you shouldn't be doing it
- Son, do you know how fast you were going?
- And my licorice rope ladder is eaten and worn / how the hell do I climb out
- How I made my computer quieter
- how to short out a phone line
- Building a rabbit trap out of two aluminum cans
- Getting your Christmas cards out at the last possible moment
- How to bake a cookie which doesn't come out as hard as a rock
- How many glow worms were KIA?
- How I made my millions
- Stand up for yourself, OR: How I got the shit kicked out of me
- I figured it all out
- A boy and his shadow standing on a long shore trying to figure out the intentions of the sun
- How to jump out of a plane, and what it's like
- Getting wax out of carpet
- stuffed animal
- Stuffed animal roadkill
- Getting the most out of public transportation
- Making a flame thrower out of a Bic lighter
- How to put a cigarette out on your tongue
- How to re-IP a server without DNS lossage
- How Eulenspiegel talked two hundred boys out of their shoes
- Putting a match out in your mouth
- How to pack someone out of your life
- This is how memories are made
- Getting water out of a cactus
- How to tell she's good looking
- Double your theatre wages without really trying
- Like hands on a clock tell time without thinking about how long it's been
- How to build a computer out of black holes
- How I decided not to stare out of a smoky haze of phony melancholy
- I didn't mean to write this, but this is how it came out
- All right, I'm God now. How do I get out of this mess?
- How to eat wild stuff and not get poisoned
- Your girlfriend will never forget how adorable you were the first time you went
- How to make a weapon out of duct tape
- if you want, i can help you figure out a nice ending
- Where are the animal lovers when you need 'em?
- figure out
- How far can an animal fall and survive?
- How to exchange two variables without using a third
- How to get your stuff voted up
- old stuffed animals
- How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying
- grumbling dissertation on how everything would be much better if it all were to explode
- How to find out if a Web company is monitoring your browsing habits
- Smoking from a Pringles tube
- How to tell whether a figure can be drawn in one stroke
- On the beach, by myself. How it turned out.
- How I found out there wasn't a Santa Claus
- How to exit FreeCell without losing the game
- How I made the Year Nodes
- A New Way of Looking at Animals
- How to Ride Out a Storm
- How to carve a dodecahedron out of a cube
- How to read poetry out loud
- How Eulenspiegel cleared out the merchant's house
- Rolling out fresh pasta
- How Lars Ulrich made me quit my job at a movie theater
- How a Steinway grand piano is made
- How to recover a Sun Netra X1 with a Corrupted Disk Label - Bad Magic Number error
- How Eulenspiegel, along with the other boys, was made to eat too much bread
- Cutting cake without favoritism
- As if he knew that words were how I kissed
- How to use Windows regularly without hating it (much) : part two
- How to floss without hurting your fingers
- The true story of how I beat the crap out of King Kong, on top of the Empire State Building
- How to make a bowl out of a vinyl LP
- How to start a fire without matches
- How we were, before we were
- Lost in Boston?
- How to escape domestic violence
- How to setup a TiVo without a phone line
- How to have a great vacation in China without money
- Making a ring out of a dollar bill
- Building a castle entirely out of Mountain Dew cans
- How to transcend animal instinct and become a superior being
- How to fit pants without trying them on
- It is sad how many were torn off
- how does it feel to be carried out to the trash?
- How to Find Your Lost Cell Phone (Without Making A Fool of Yourself)
- How to get a kitten out of your bedroom
- how to alter your state of consciousness without drugs
- How my desire for a puppy made me personally responsible for the War on Terror
- How to make a skirt out of an old pair of pants
- I was pretty sure that wasn't how slasher films were supposed to end, but you won't see me complaining.
- How to make money in the music industry without actually making new music
- How to appreciate jazz without really trying
- I am going to try to figure out a way to get into your cunt castle
- Figure It Out
- I figured out Faith
- The best way to learn something is when someone else figures it out and tells you.
- How my plans to sell someone's soul on eBay were foiled
- How to fall out of an airplane
- How to Fall Out of Love
- Covid-19: masks work, we figured that out YEARS ago
- How many Disney movies are actually original stories?
- How M&M's are really made
- How to get away at work without doing anything
- Create a throwing star out of Post-it Notes
- I could not hear the echo of my steps as I descended nor the sounds of animals, for they were hiding
- I am no doubt moving. The question now is not where, but how. My life changes everyday. Big deal.
- How Do I Live
- Getting out of a traffic ticket
- How do you articulate the in between stages where you feel you're left hanging?
- How would you like it if they took your subculture and made it a theme night?
- How to order a Happy Meal without embarrassment
- Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
- How to find out if an egg has gone bad
- How to get free clothes in Disney World
- Screaming Bullet of Compact Imported Death, or: How I Found Out My Mazda Protege Could Go 130mph
- The volume of stuff you own is directly proportional to how far you have to move
- Brighten a worker's day in a wholesale store
- How to scream when no one is looking
- How to get a Goth out of a tree
- How to find out if ANY number is divisible by eleven
- How to get past the alarm gates in retail stores
- How to open a bottle of wine without a corkscrew
- Making bassoon reeds
- How to get more out of Psi
- The UK's farmers, or How to reap a profit without worrying about pesky scruples
- How to open a shrinkwrapped CD
- How to use the alarm gates in retail stores for practical jokes
- Who what when where why & how
- How to scare the living shit out of an arachnophobe with a black shoelace
- How Eulenspiegel cheated a baker out of a sack of bread
- Aristotle's Lost Library, Medieval Andalusia & Chinese Paper, or How Europe Learned to Learn Again and Why the Renaissance Happened When & Where It Did
- How to make a serviceable pair of shoes out of a rubber tire
- How to scare the hell out of people using flour
- Pee in the shower without your girlfriend noticing
- How Eulenspiegel made the chickens fight over bait
- how to fall out of a marriage
- Riding a bike without using your hands
- How to bend guitar notes without a whammy bar
- Getting the most out of being a temp
- How a pizza gets made
- How to have an out of body experience
- How to make bellbottoms out of an old pair of pants
- How to make a purse out of duct tape
- Speeding without getting a ticket
- How to tell where you are in Manhattan
- How Disney ruined Broadway
- How to stuff a turkey
- How to break your neck and freak people out
- Do you remember how small your body was when you were five?
- Killing a polar bear without a rifle
- How to buy a stereo system (without winning the lottery)
- How I made Alan Keyes the presidential front-runner in 1996
- How to ash out of the back window of a moving car
- How to scare the shit out of someone
- How I invented Anna and made her a character in all my stories
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