Findings:
- Why girlfriends get annoyed when they remember things you don't
- Where do dogs get their Vitamin C from, when they don't eat fruits?
- How do cows get all their nutrients, when they only eat grass?
- finding my way back to sanity again, though I don't really know what I'm going to do when I get there
- You know, that really wasn't a good way to get rid of the Universe forever
- They don't get it. Let them suffer.
- When non-pitchers get to pitch
- Children are people readers and they know when you are fiction
- There are times when they seem to be right
- Some vampires actually get pissed when you tell them to Have A Nice Day
- If you had any balls, you'd say 'Oh, my God, what is that thing?' then scream and cut your mic.
- now, when it's nearly impossible to get lost and twice as impossible not to be found
- The easiest way to get a job
- What do girls think about guys when they catch guys staring at their breasts, but the guy is actually trying to read her shirt?
- Reasons toilets swirl the way they do
- How to get Apache to tell your visitors when files have moved or been deleted
- When I Get Low I Get High
- They think I'm a god
- If poetry could describe the way you make me feel, poetry would be illegal. Or anyway I might get arrested.
- I am an impediment. I am here to get in your way.
- She dumped me when she found out I'd been faking my Scottish accent
- When they cut through the mountains to lay highways
- Too many people say "I love you" when they mean "I like you"
- Everybody Eats When They Come to My House
- the moment when they take possession of you
- Where do they go when they walk out and leave the body behind?
- You are brave and wonderful even when they nuke the damn thing.
- How to get people to clean up their core dumps
- When people say "All-American", they seldom mean me.
- When keys on keyboards get switched
- When I get mad I throw harder
- When did everyone get so attractive?
- When I sneeze, I get cross, and when I get cross I'm liable to do something wicked.
- They say the prettiest girls get to be angels
- This is what happens, son, when you let your wife's green lung get out of hand
- 12 Ways to Get a Job (if you're psycho)
- I should ask my barber where he gets his hair cut, then go there and slowly make my way up the chain
- Where The Shock Sets In And The Stomach Acid Finds A New Way To Make You Get Sick
- you are a comet when you streak close by the radios get weak
- malt does more than Milton can to justify God's ways to man
- If I had the money I would get lost. God knows I have the time.
- Why women suddenly come out of the woodwork when a man gets married
- Live so that they cry when you're born and laugh when you die
- Some time when I was a teenager
- What people talk about when they can't think of anything to talk about
- If you want somebody's heart, catch it when they pour it out
- Too many people say nothing when they mean "I love you"
- The four problems of surgery, how they were overcome, and when
- Where do they keep the car keys when they transport cars?
- The hostages wrote thank you cards to their captors when they got home.
- You can learn a lot about someone from the way they die
- it's a pity we only appreciate some once they're gone, when they can no longer defend themselves
- When scientists make mistakes they see what they did wrong and then try again.
- Scientist hits head on curb joke
- When I get like this
- When I was a kid, I wanted to get tuberculosis
- Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
- Some Jews actually get pissed when you wish them a Merry Christmas
- Life gets in the way of words
- My new way to get there
- How to get rid of spiders before they get rid of YOU
- Arguing my way to get an arranged marriage
- Sometimes we dreamers just get in the way
- People can get stuff here that they can't get anywhere else.
- spin until you get dizzy, then spin the other way to cancel it out
- at least in dreams when shit gets ugly you can still fly and whistle
- Just when scratch pads couldn't get any better... (document)
- I don't care about society, it just gets in the way of my individual freedom
- I know them by the trucks they drive, the names they call each other, the tattoos on hot, shirtless days, the music they blast after lunch, to get through the rest of the day.
- do you think i can get all my ideas out? so they aren't lost?
- Be patient, you will get your patent. And they will pat you on the back.
- When did the World get so old?
- God works in mysterious ways
- Ah, God, the way your little finger moved
- God won't hear when you pray from Hell
- I shudder when I think that God is merciful
- every day she stands there, waiting. every day, she's gone when i get there.
- I Get Hungry When I Shift
- Things to do when technology gets here
- when the butterflies scream
- Girls who go home with you when they don't even know your name
- Were You There When They Crucified My Lord?
- When left long enough, students will always discuss cartoons they watched as kids
- They don't touch me the same way
- When they come they'll eat the fat ones first
- It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead
- Right-wing doesn't automatically mean racist
- When you kill people they die
- Beliefs become religious when they become self-referential
- Let's run away to where the shooting stars fall and meet them when they land
- I feel the way bank robbers must feel before they go out on that last job that ends up getting them all killed. That is to say, optimistic.
- By the way, those chairs, they spin
- Eye contact at a distance
- What Italian guys are really talking about when they say "Ey Oh"
- People don't flail when they die
- when they take my blood
- How can a man stand when they cut off his feet?
- If you want somebody's heart, catch it when they cut it out
- I like my breasts the way they are
- When they realized they were in the desert, they built a religion to worship thirstiness.
- You know a writer has made it when they stop posting on e2
- remember, when they look right through you, you're still there
- Sometimes birds are lions and prides of pigeons shake the ground when they roar.
- What people really mean when they say "Justice for X"
- When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea.
- When poets scream
- It's hard to get C!-ed when you're a boring programmer
- Wouldn't it suck to be God's mom and not even get laid in the deal?
- It must be hard for God to get a date
- Just when you get really good at something, you don't need to do it any more
- The potential for brain damage really does get in the way of a good time
- They managed to get to the moon despite it
- An easy way to get out of going to church
- Stoned music memories
- Why can't they get out of The Matrix on cellular phones?
- Kids, don't let drugs get in the way of your dreams for the future
- Racing friends with fragile self esteem, or: A good way to get yourself killed
- Rape committed by women
- Getting rid of start menu items
- How to get an abortion when it's illegal to do so in your country
- Why it seems you get good ideas when you're stoned
- How to get drunk when in Norway
- I'll get there when I get there
- Wearing embarrassing underwear is the best way to get laid
- I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
- Things you don't want to hear (but will) when you get into bed with a girl
- All right, I'm God now. How do I get out of this mess?
- What do you get when you cross the Alps with elephants?
- Cannibalism and other fun ways to get rid of Rats
- when the weather's good we get the wood
- Cryonic companies who will freeze you if you get in the way of their plans for world domination
- I like it when I dream of her. It's the only time we get to talk.
- The bastards got me but they won't get everybody
- We get too tense when we drive
- Ways to get random numbers
- The feeling you get when meeting an ex-partner soon after you split
- sometimes when i think about how big space is i get scared
- When in doubt, get horizontal
- I got the feeling the Fairy Council was mad at me when the president knocked over her coffee to get a better grip on my neck
- and it gets lonely in the rain while they wait for their hook-up
- "It gets better" or so they say.
- God gets pissed
- If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about answers.
- The ones with their priorities straight don't know how to get what they want, and the ones who get what they want have messed up priorities.
- when i get out i'll come and find you cause you're my other half i never told you that
- They Say It Gets Easier
- they can drop bombs and no one will get hurt
- I am going to try to figure out a way to get into your cunt castle
- The feeling you get when you hold someone's hand
- When you get to the top, I know what it'll seem like. But there IS someone there. There IS someone there.
- We're on our way to being GODS!
- They were looking for God but found religion instead
- Angels find pleasure in work when God is on vacation
- Oh my god! They killed Kenny!
- Eat your dreams, before they get cold.
- I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
- When life gives you lemons, FIND A NEW GOD
- Proposed: The only way for a woman to achieve true ecstacy is to allow herself to be taken by the Goat God in the Circle of Candles on a moonless night
- when the gods are afraid
- when the forest burns along the road like god's eyes in my headlights
- Preaching Christianity to hitch hikers when you don't believe in God on the day of the Devil
- when i get my shit together i'm going to rule this town
- For when you and your shiftless friends get something to eat
- Good foods to eat when you first get a tongue piercing
- It's hard to know what to say when a friend's parent they always hated suddenly dies
- You say "the internet" but you mean "the world wide web"
- Children who are born blind still smile when they are happy
- i only knew when silence screamed
- When they say "Gotta have it!" they mean it!
- I thought ALL women looked for a wedding ring when they talked to ANY man
- Maybe they heard you scream.
- How to scream when no one is looking
- We'll burn that bridge when we get to it
- when god speaks, it is never one-sided
- Honk if your horn is broken: Where do they get these stupid stickers?
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