honestly
I feel despair
when I try
to think about the new schedule
Twenty four slots
Of 20 minutes
See three people
For 40 minutes
Twenty on the schedule
Unasnswered questions
Wake me on Sunday morning
If I am called to a labor patient
Must I make up that clinic face time?
What of holidays?
The clinic is closed.
Night call is nowhere addressed
Will they hire more and more
Who don't take call
Until I am the last woman standing
Red rimmed eyes staring
Numb with fatigue
What of my nearly deaf patient
Who reads lips
May we take forty minutes?
All the fairly deaf elderly?
New parents, anxious
Questions pour out like
Coins from a jackpot win
What of the tearful brokenhearted
And anxious?
I shrink at the thought
Of crushing their hearts
Into twenty minutes
And what if I'm sick?
(sick leave & vacation all one)
It's not a holiday if I'm on call
No make-up day off
If I cancel clinic
For illness
Do I make up those days
A quota of patient face days
I am in the factory
The mines
People are the shirts I must sew
The tons of coal I must load
I must meet a quota
Doctors die younger
Our life is measured out
In patients
I won't let the quota
Kill my love