I want to write, but it is so hard to even type right now. This is because I am so
unbelievably sad right now and
drunk, mostly in hopes to numb the
pain.
The boy I've loved for so long doesn't want me in his life anymore. At all, in any form. I would have done anything for him, he was my world, my hope for a good relationship. That last bit of hope I was desperately holding on to was destroyed tonight. He called me tonight, like he always does. He wanted to see how I was doing, and he wanted what he always does. I said that I would come over and talk to him, and maybe we would see about what he wanted. I tried to talk to him but then I cried. He tried to talk some sense into me but I couldn't hear it. I could only think about how unfair it all is, and how there was nothing I could do.
He said that he only wanted me physically, there was that between us like always but I wanted more. It was the same conversation, we've had it a million times before.
I ran out of there, my heart broken. He said he would never call me again and I was never to call him again. I've loved him for so long and now I have to forget him. He is making me because he doesn't want me, and I don't understand why. I don't understand why I care for him so much and he doesn't care for me at all.
I miss him already and it is ripping me apart, destroyed are my emotions and my heart.