Dream Log: November 24, 2000

Very strange, semi-biblical flash of dream at the end of sleep.

In the desert at night, walking alone, I came across a burning bush, its stubby trunk a core of fire, molten twigs snapping and bursting brilliantly into flame, sharp cracking sound, the sound of light. And all the leaves fell like stars, shooting down with faint seared firework traces of light in the darkness, burning for a second then fading away, leaving their ghosts in ashes behind them to sink to the ground slowly, lighter than air, and disappear. The heat haze shimmers and shifts in the sand, which appears to be moving as the shadows spread in waves across it. And if I stare at these shadows, and then into the heart of the fire, my eyes start to see something almost like a face, speaking, and the crackling and hissing of the flames are a message, which I could decipher if only I could make it out..
Wait. And watch. And listen.
And then dawn comes swiftly over the desert, the horizon all around me. The whole sky is on fire, and the light is blinding, and I fall down in the sand to hide my eyes, still desperately trying – to listen – and, when I look up again, the fire has gone out. Flakes of ash settle and disappear, all burnt up to nothing. The silence is as heavy as the weight of the sand in the desert, a silence in which no sound could possibly be imagined.

Woke up wondering if there was a message. But there was only tea, and toast.

I don't usually publish my dreams either, but there's always a first.

Last night's dream made me think about a few things when I woke up, also during the dream as well. I probably reached a point where I was lucid dreaming, where I can control certain thoughts.

This dream is probably one that takes place in the future. I'm living with my Love in this well-furnished, contemporary loft. I recall there was fine cherry and birch veneer doors and a large master bedroom. For some reason, I had a dog. Not a "true" dog, more like a half-breed of wolf and dog like in one of those animated movies probably from Disney. I had the notion that these half-breeds were quite viscious even if your try to approach them peacefully and with good intent. And for some reason, we had one half-bred puppy. It looked more like a small German Sheppard.

I was afraid of this puppy of ours in this dream for fear that he may bite me in some cannibalistic way. I needed to take a shower or at least hide and stay away from the puppy, but he kept following me. I could see behind those eyes a certain madness - an aura a snowshoe hare would be afraid of in the winter. I tried closing the door behind me but they wouldn't close. The doors were all too small and had gaps either above, which he could pounce over, or below, which he could crawl through. I was afraid until all of a sudden, I realized that he probably only wanted me to pet him or scratch behind his ears. I also realized that if I ran away from him as I did like a scared little child, he would probably give up and not like me. And from that he could be even more viscious than I could ever imagine.

I was slightly apprehensive at first when he pawed at my leg. I crouched towards him as I smiled, but still afraid of him biting me. There was an instant closeness once I started to caress the fur on his head. A calmness set between us. It seemed as though we enjoyed each other's company in that moment.

I had never thought I would ever be a dog/wolf person. But it seems like at least in past realistic settings, I have a good rapport with animals.

I was going to steal a waterscooter just for waterskiing from biological research compound.. I got it from a boatshelter, but someone noticed me. Suprisingly, he wasnt mad at me, but then I noticed that people were evacuating from the area. I grabbed the extralight scooter and started running, but were thrown on the ground by a blast when the compound exploded. I got up and ran to the docks, but on the way I shruddered strangely, stopping me for a while, but when it passed I got to the water and rode away with the scooter. I dont remember exactly what happened after that, but my eyes got a green glow, and I started turning into werefox. Next thing I remember is driving my car at night, with my friend being both curious and scared of my mutation. I already had a short muzzle, my hands were covered in black fur, and my face had short red hair growing all over it. I turned off the lights because I saw well without them, and got an sudden idea to try 180 degree handbrake turn from the full speed. My friend was freaked, but everything went well for the moment and I continued backwards for someway before backing out from the road and hitting something. A meter on my dashboard indicated that my car was 1% damaged, which still bothered me enough to drive to nearest truck stop to see if they could fix it. For my suprise, they knew more about fox morph treatment than I did, and led me to truck section. It was hard to believe that they offered me a big american truck, and showed me a computer console to choose customizations for it. They explained that this was part of the fox life, so I took a look at it. I had 32 upgrade points, and screen had pictures of tires, engines, bumpers, and other truck stuff to click on. Then, I dont remember anything..

I was looking at a map of Middle-earth, only it was quite different than what I was used to. The Brandywine river cut the map in two, going a long way south from the Shire and then making a great turn to the east, perpendicular to the absent Anduin.

To the far southeast, Mordor was absent as well. East of where Mordor should have been, there was a place called "South Hobbiton". One of its counties was called "Mechanic". It doesn't make sense, I know.

For some reason I wanted to go there. There was a small ridge a few meters ahead of me, so I started to run to it, expecting to find "South Hobbiton" in letters carved in its side. It had snowed, which was strange for a land so far south, but it wasn't cold. My shoulder hit a pile of snow, which also wasn't cold. It was soft and fluffy. Right below the ridge the snow was flat, so I jumped on the snow expecting to have a great view of the sign, instead I sank into the snow. It seemed like I fell a long distance. I couldn't turn over to see how far I really had fallen, so I got scared and woke up.

A haunting. Ghosts are over-running the place.

That cute curly-haired freshman is getting into his car to go home to regroup before returning to the battle at hand, trying to rid our place of menacing spirits. I am beside the car when I see a motion in the air that feels like something I can't see is passing through. Only the something is two feet tall. I see his passenger side car door open a few inches and close, and believe that the presence has entered his car. He thinks I'm crazy. The door opens and closes again, but only a crack, as if the spirit had gotten his seat belt caught in the door. Now I'm sure it's in his car, and I try to convince him of this. He still doesn't believe, even when the windows start opening and closing themselves, and the windshield wipers start of their own accord. He proposes that maybe it's him that's causing all this to happen, and he leans back to concentrate on making the windshield wipers work, and they stop. I remember all the myths of ghosts that they can't act on the human world if a human is concentrating intently on the object they're working on, and cite this as more proof that the ghost is in the car. He starts crying and admits the ghost is there. I tell him I'm coming with him and get in the car and kiss him and we drive off.

I'm writing this pretty late in the day, I hope I can still remember it...

I was visiting my sister in her brand-new apartment. Her building looked like the Calgary tower. (For those of you who don't get to Calgary much, the Calgary tower is one of those tall, thin towers with nothing but an elevator shaft and stairs most of the way up, and a rotating restaurant and observation deck up top.) Where the restaurant is located is where the apartments were. For some reason, the had built this ridiculous apartment building about 20 feet from shore in a small bay lined with cliffs. There was a beach and a city just behind the beach.

While I was up in my sister's apartment, a volcano erupted a little farther out in the bay. It wasn't there before it erupted, it just kind of grew up from the bay. Anyways, since my sister's apartment building was shaped the way it was, big chunks of rock and lava started flying through the floor of her apartment, because the volcano was close enough that it could spew that stuff and hit the building.

We took the stairs down and left the building (we were wading in the bay), and saw that the volcano was dumping a lot of lava into the bay. Some of it had reached the shore and the city, and everyone from the city was coming down to the water, because they thought that the lava wouldn't hurt them in the water. But the water got really hot (from having a lot of molten rock dumped into it), and everyone was burning their legs.

I saw a friend of the family's daughter. She was crying because her legs were burnt. So I picked her up and kept walking in the water away from the volcano. For some reason, my legs never got burnt. After we walked for a ways, there was a ladder laying flat above the water. Not floating in the water, but above it. We crawled along the ladder, back towards the volcano.

And then my stepdad woke me up. Dangit, I wanted to see where that was going.

Transcendental Horror Flick

• A typical day in downtown Sant Cruz, California and the street hippies are out on the sidewalks, their wares spread out on wool blankets:hemp necklaces, blown-glass and drawings. I'm with friends, strolling the sunshine, listening to the orchestra of guitarists, hand-drummers and hand-clappers. I pass by my ex-girlfriend, Radha, and consider telling her that I'd been dreaming about her lately. But there is something strange in the air today. Though the sun is bright, it seems to give no heat. My finger and toes are chilled and numb. Soon I understand why as a scream pierces the autumn air. A young man is running down the sidewalk literally slicing people as he goes with a large knife. Blood is spilling everywhere and as the peaceful pedestrians turn into a crazed mob, I see more and more people running amok with large blades. As I sprint down Lincoln St. I get the feeling that these killers are not under their own control. I catch glimpses of friends running with butcher's blades in their hands.

  After a couple of hours of craziness, the knife-wielders have the city under their control. They have captured a group of hostages, including me. I am beginning to get the idea that this is a dream shifting into a lucid dream, yet something is still wrong. As my fear of death declines with the rising awareness of lucidity, a new fear emerges. My captors know I am becoming lucid and confront me about it. They torment me with an existential threat: "We know that you think this is a dream, but what makes you so sure? Have you ever had dream characters speak so plainly to you about this reality? Don't you see? We are in control of your mind now. This is no simple dream you can wake up from."

  By this time, I am fully lucid but becoming slightly terrified by the very plain-spoken captor who seemed to know his shit. I reached the level of lucidity where the dream becomes so real as to be indiscernible from waking reality, and here was this dream figment looking me straight in the eye and claiming to be anything but. For a few brief moments, I am convinced, and feel the immense hole in my stomach open up as the existential dread wells up inside me like a stiff poison. Dream ends.

I dreamed that I shaved my face.

This was weird because

• I am female
• I have recently resolved to cease shaving, waxing, tweezing, and otherwise pointlessly submitting to convention.

So (in reality, not dreamland), I do have a bit of fuz on my face, a.k.a. Frida Kahlo. And in my dream I was initially pissed off that I had shaved, because I had gotten rid of the rebellious hair I'm so proud of. But then I thought, It's OK, it'll grow back even thicker...