Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "I am assuming this is a pseudonym, but no amount of googling could get me to the dude's real name."

• before the internet when teen had REAL relationship the boy could look at the girl and judge the diameter of her thorax with his feelers and determine whether the mating ritual could commence but NO MORE. evil woman use her computer sorcery
• "Excuse me, but could you drop your large backpack somewhere else, please?" A (almost) christmas nodermeet in the East End
• They know me not by name, but numbers
• I told her I could read her mind, but she didn't believe me. I could tell.
• no easy love could ever make me feel the same
• Perhaps pain will stop me where good sense and virtue have failed
• your fake name is not for everyone but good enough for me
• Tell me a story about taking whatever you could get
• I am hoping for a hell deep enough to hold me. I am hoping for no way out.
• in this world there are no equals but some day you will surpass me
• Oh, no. Look, you've gone and made me optimistic. I was before, but now it is showing.
• I'd ask, sure, I'd ask. But then, then you could say no.
• I am no doubt moving. The question now is not where, but how. My life changes everyday. Big deal.
• The bastards got me but they won't get everybody
• If poetry could describe the way you make me feel, poetry would be illegal. Or anyway I might get arrested.
• There is no real me
• I am the red, the white, & the blue. No man cometh to freedom except through me.
• I could never draw but they made me an artist
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• I was once smaller than a jellybean, but now look at me - I am macroscopic!
• as you get older, a lot falls away. but i am not here to tell you not to worry. i am here to give you tools.
• The bastards hung me in the spring of '25, but I am still alive.
• She's smarter than me but she's also more quiet, therefore she has no personality which makes me feel better
• There Is No Such Thing As Light/There Is No Such Thing As Darkness/This Shadow Is An Illusion/But Illusions Are Still Real/And I Still Must Step Out Of It
• "This sandwich is great, but it could be better if it had tomatoes and also gave me super powers."
• Any fool with a dick can make a baby but it takes a real man to be a father
• I will make him promises, but not ones I am afraid to break
• Men may cry "Peace! Peace!" but there is no peace
• I am no poet
• Correct me if I'm wrong, and if I am, I'll eat a bug
• you called my name in the dark, so here I am
• I know you're up there. I am but a discontented symbol birthed from the blood of your terrible pen.
• I am a mathematician, but I am also an artist
• It would have been an excellent story but I had to get off the train
• Somebody told me a story. It was pretty but boring. It was Saturday night, my stories usually end up that way.
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• I am going to try to figure out a way to get into your cunt castle
• Am am no prophet
• I am an impediment. I am here to get in your way.
• So runs my dream; but what am I?
• I'm no fucking Buddhist, but this is Enlightenment.
• lord help me, for i am weak
• I was raised on red pepper and blood. I am so hot if you strike me I will light like a match.
• I sucked a lot of cock to get where I am
• I can't get a girlfriend but my dog has a harem
• It's just a doll, but it's a million times more real than your chemicals
• I won't tell you the real reason why I hate you, but I'll tell you another which is just as good
• Looking like a pirate is fun but only having one eye annoys me
• Our obsessions almost killed me, but now here we are, talking like normal human beings
• I could grow up to become the soft ineffectual synthesis of untold compromises that I am today
• i know you are but what am i
• Many girls want to be carnal with me because I am such a premium dancer.
• I assume I am a visionary. You will not be able to convince me otherwise.
• I am no longer the youngest
• I'm not really okay with being hated for what I am. It's hard to take. But it's still better than being loved for something I'm not.
• If I could slip this skin but for a moment
• i am a human being. nothing human is alien to me.
• I am going to make it through this year if it kills me
• I am sorry but when you were talking I was admiring the shape of your lips and evaluating their kissability
• I appreciate your concern for others, but I need to get all my ducks in a row first.
• he touched me then, but I forgot to feel
• I would have tried, but Charlotte kept Charlotte in the world of Charlotte and she barely heard me
• They blew up the world, but what really pisses me off
• But they're entertaining lies, and in the end, isn't that the real truth?
• You may be a noder, but you ain't no dancer
• World, take care of me. You don't owe it to me, but I don't know any better.
• we ain't got no money, honey, but we got rain
• Nobody Knows It But Me
• I'm at the station, but I can't get on the train
• He comforted me when he thought I needed it, but never when I really did
• But alas, I have no badger to offer you
• I don't know where he gets his words but I like them
• Society made me what I am
• I know I am but summer to your heart,
• no more stupid, i am full
• I am in love with so much more than your body heat, but let's start there
• I want you to know who I am beyond my name
• I am no prophet
• I am many things, but I am not that strong
• I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together
• Hello. How are you? I am fine. What is your name? My name is Jerry.
• Look at me, I am moving on
• She is lobbing rainbows at me from across the room and I am swallowing them like fear.
• i carry a deep sadness of the past, perhaps always. but i am here for the present and the future. i am here for you.
• why am i me, and you're you?
• Foundation for Telling Me How Great I Am
• now that I am no longer
• it is a new dawn and I am a new me, this you can have if you want
• Junk mail never has to spell your name right, but important stuff does
• No, but I'll have a beer
• There is no god but God
• I keep thinking I'm so tough but I rarely care enough to prove it. So am I really tough then? Or does every dog just have its day?
• I like electronic music, but I am not a raver.
• It ought to be broad daylight, but the shadow that envelops the story shows no signs of brightening
• I don't want to be a weeping mass of emotion, but I am
• What is real but compassion as we move from birth to death
• I can't get published, but this crap can
• But, my dear sir, if you educate them, they will no longer be Baptists
• She really does want to clap along, but at the same time she doesn't want to let the bird get out.
• Things you don't want to hear (but will) when you get into bed with a girl
• Due to the Incompetence of our novice author, our heroine, cahla, finds herself in the wilds of Djibouti; there is no denouement in sight, but the moonlight is pretty.
• It did not get nicer, but it sure got a hell of a lot more honest
• Help Me I Am In Hell
• You say you love; but with a voice
• Tanks But No Tanks
• 'C' may be for cookie, but that's not good enough for me, dammit!
• I suppose I could have married a World Cup soccer player, but I didn't
• I may be cold and calculating, but that doesn't make me a computer
• She may be pretty and have more money than me but she doesn't write songs about you.
• no ideas but in things
• I didn't read it but I want to get into the author's pants
• Close, but no cigar
• The body's alive, but no head. I'm having a lot of trouble accepting it.
• Neutron-bomb landscape, lights gleaming but no sign of humanity
• Sorry, but I AM my fucking khakis
• For to lose I could accept but to surrender I just wept
• She could hit four octaves above high-C, but she never performed in public
• Girls possess me but they're never mine.
• I get knocked down, but I get up again
• Why I am no longer a journalist
• There's someone in my head but it's not me
• I may be lying in the gutter, but I am looking up at the stars
• As for me, I am a watercolor. I wash off.
• Don't call me "Caucasian." I am a Caucasian-American.
• no more bitter. i am full.
• I am no longer an EDB refugee
• I am not a real person
• I am nothing but my sins
• I need these blue and black halos for comfort, to remind me where I am, who I am, when I am
• I know you are, but what am I?
• Watch Me: I Am a Woman
• and am happily disturbed by no passions
• my whole life is passing me by and I sometimes wonder why I am even still alive
• Sometimes, when I am looking, no one is beautiful
• I am but a moth before your flame
• I am someone and I wish so much I could help you
• I am an adventurer not by choice, but by fate
• I am in a metal band. What do I name it?
• I am afraid to write tonight, but I must.
• I am no longer the foolish young man I once was
• Why are you following me? What I am trying to escape is you.
• I am at the crossroads in the Garden of Eden, and before me is the Tree of Knowledge.
• I am built to ignore hard truths and keep dreaming. That's what it is to be me.
• What am I doing here when I could be swimming with the dolphins?
• I am a stranger. I come in peace. Take me to your leader, and there will be a massive reward for you in eternity.
• I am a bassist. Don't you fucking call me a bass player, ever.
• I am afraid to breathe or shut my eyes but I do both.
• And yet, when the warm breeze of spring greets my face and the sunlight does not make me shield my eyes, I know I am not alone.
• Listen to me, because I am in the soapbox. This is the voice of the soapbox. I am calling to you. Do you hear the sounds of my soaply siren song? My syntactically sweet strumming along to sequential sequestrations of symmetrically snakey st
• Remind Me Who I Am, Again
• I'm no better off with a car than I am without one
• I am real; I happened to you
• i am always searching. like a plant, i thirst forever. i cannot get enough of the light.
• I know the world will hate me for who I am.
• no exact amounts since I have no idea how many people you feed
• Often I feel like I am just shouting my observations into a raging storm and no one hears
• i am no one (user)
• Lots of MIPS but no I/O
• English may be a "living language," but Latin is not -- so get it right.
• Scrabble words with a Q but no U
• The virgin was looking apprehensive about the whole ordeal, but for the right amount of cash anyone will take on a horse
• i am always awake. what do you require of me?
• I am giving you every opportunity to let me down
• In another world, I am you and you are me
• I am capable of poetic language, but not always of poetry
• I had names for all of those places, but I can't remember them
• You know to me she's but a fetish
• The Tesla Coil made me cry, but I got a free lunch out of it.
• Give me chastity and continency, but not yet
• Every programmer is incompetent but me.
• Please tell me everything, this means you, I am hungry and also
• Maybe I'm naive but this type of website bugs me
• 1991-96 were more fun years, but I'll likely get more accomplished in the year 2000 alone
• Hello, I take Zoloft. I am so gloriously mentally ill! You will love me, yes?
• I may not have had enough of me but I've had enough of you

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