Having just recently gotten back into the land of No Longer
Single, I have discovered a few basic rules which seem to apply:
1.You never really realize how much you are enjoying being single until you are once again
involved in a relationship.
2.Just when you're
getting your life together and you are merrily winding your way along
life's path, along comes someone who not only interests you, but seems to actually be
interested in you.
3.As soon as you are once again at the point where you have a
significant other, all those people who you tirelessly pursued, but somehow were
never quite able to interest enough become very friendly
all of a sudden. I'm talking a
matter of hours here, people. Furthermore, it is not actually necessary for them to know that you are involved, it's some kind of
unconscious link with the rest of the universe.
4.God forbid, you make that final mistake and
get married, they will flock to you like college students to a free meal. As soon as they see that little
band of gold around your finger, and this is particularly true in the case of
women, or so it seems, they
zero in for the kill.
Why is it exactly that they flock when you're married? It's simple. They see that someone else has
chained you down and automatically go into a mode of
recognition where they say, "Hey, someone else thought enough of this person to
tie themselves down for life. This person really must be
something special, I want it."
The most fun is when you are just getting involved and you realized the
joys of being single, which, for some reason, you can't see when you are single, and you think to yourself, "Oh no.
What have I done? This is going to suck. Hey, I know, I'll make her think I'm
insane." Then, after having gone to
great lengths to make this person think that you're nuts and you would be better off in a
mental hospital than a relationship, she's still there. In the cyclopean
vortex of confusion that follows her still being around, you usually get confused enough that you start
thinking irrationally, and get pulled unerringly into the plane of Significant Otherdom. Congratulations, you're now in that relationship that you've been
whining about wanting for the last six months.