How is it, you ask, that
Pandeism saved the world today? We ("we" being your neighbourly planetwide
community of pandeists) had been keeping a vigilant eye on this whole
Rapture situation for some months now, and sure enough it was on this day that
Yahweh made his move against the people of Earth. His plan was simple and straightforward: use the power of his followers' faith to
fuel his destruction of the planet. You see, like all of what men call "gods," Yahweh is an
egrigore, a psychic phenomenon brought into existence by belief in it. And, like any egrigore, it takes on the personality characteristics which its followers tend to attribute to it in practice, even if not in their
literature; and so a "
Love" goddess (and aren't they always goddesses) will swiftly devolve from a nurturer of
romantic attachment to something like the opposite, a
sex-
starved seductress who cares for no love but her own; and a "
War" god goes from giving noble assistance to those who show bravery in
battle, to becoming a fomenter of
conflict for the sake of conflict to fuel what has become a
lust for war, reflective of that which lies in the spirits of its followers.
So it was with Yahweh; though described over and over as a loving
deity, so many of its followers
projected into it the
hatred in their
hearts, hatred against people who were different in
ethnicity or
sexuality (not simply by
orientation, but in the
practice of it altogether) or
belief, even other followers of Yahweh whose beliefs differed in some triviality; verily the fervency with which some believed their god to be the kind which
would end the world, rescuing only the most toadying handful of its followers and inflicting horrible suffering on the confused masses remaining -- first for some years on
Earth,
and then to please its nostrils with the odor of burning flesh, for all eternity.
And so, the desire for such a
beast to exist was powerful enough to instill in the collected psychic expression an intention to destroy the world, to
torment and
murder all
mankind; and since every
group of followers was thought by many other to be unworthy of
salvation, none would have been "saved".... it was
torture, then
death, then more torture still, for every living thing inhabiting the Earth.
But then the pandeists stepped up; for no matter how fervently held a belief, no matter how it may empower the spirit which it has established, it can not overcome the power of
reality. Thousands of years of people believing the
Earth to be flat and the
Sun to orbit it could not make these things so. And so, as Yahweh planned his devastating
holocaust against
humanity, the pandeists as a one, with all of the will of our minds, focused our thoughts on logic and reason and the factual nonexistence of illogical entities. We intently
disbelieved in the ability of Yahweh to inflict itself upon the world. And despite the draw of millions of believers willing the death of their neighbours in their
hope and
fear, the few thousand pandeists employed
mathematics and
maturity,
physics and
philosophy,
science and
conscience, and rendered impotent the
bugbear, pulling the
teeth from Yahweh's attack.
The world will little note nor long remember the mental defense erected against the
eradication of the human race on this day, May 21, 2011. Verily, it will soon be forgot that anyone had forecast "the Rapture" to happen on this date at all. But we amongst the pandeists of Earth will never forget the glory of the exercise of logic, reason, and rationality.