• You can GET chocolate.
• "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
• Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
• You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
• You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
• You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
• If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind.
• Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
• The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
• You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your co-workers.
• You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
• You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
• With chocolate there's no need to fake it.
• Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
• You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
• Good chocolate is easy to find.
• You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
• You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
• When you have great chocolate it doesn't keep your neighbors awake.
• With chocolate size doesn't matter. It's ALL good!

Why chocolate is better than sex:

• Chocolate doesn't leave a wet spot.
• Chocolate doesn't want to discuss where the relationship is going at three in the morning.
• Chocolate doesn't smoke cigarettes.
• Chocolate doesn't smoke cigars.
• You can offer chocolate to others in mixed company.
• You can accept chocolate from other in mixed company.
• It is acceptable to eat and share even the lowest form of chocolate (cooking chocolate) in mixed company.
• If you have a preference between light chocolate or dark chocolate nobody is going to call you racist.
• If other's notice you consuming much chocolate, the worst reputation you can get is that of Willy Wonka.
• Grannies don't blush when they notice you enjoying really good chocolate on the subway.
• Chocolate can be enjoyed outdoors in all weathers.
• Chocolate doesn't require protection.
• Chocolate can't go to court for alimony.
• Chocolate won't gossip your intimate secrets to ten thousand ``best friends.''
• …