Summer is over. This is the most normal one I've had since moving back to my hometown. The job ended up working out, despite the disorganized way they went about offering it to me. Both my bosses have praised me multiple times, and after I asked "does that mean I get a raise?" the owner said "yes." I'll have to bring it up again now that work is becoming less hectic. She said there is paperwork to sign. I don't know how much of an increase she's willing to give me or how much I should ask for. I just know that I should be paid more for the amount of responsibility they have given me.
I've been listening to Breaking Benjamin songs for the last two days. I think it's because I've been reflecting on the past few years and realizing that I seem to have made it through. I think the worst is over. I'm not quite where I want to be, but I think I might actually get there. The foundation I laid down so carefully — asking myself what I want, learning to change my thought process — is paying off. Had I not done that, I don't think I'd have been able to connect with the people I've met these past few months.
One of these people is a guy I'm working up the courage to ask out. I think my chances are good, but it's possible I'm misreading things. In one of the first conversations we had, he told me it's not too late for me to get back into playing music again. I don't miss it really, but I do have other creative goals, so I think that was a really sweet thing of him to say. He gets it. My ex didn't get it at all. He discouraged me from pursuing the things that mattered to me. It's something I don't really talk about much. Whenever I try to, nobody seems to understand. I think this guy will understand. Maybe we should just be friends, I don't know. I think it's a good sign that I'm actually interested in someone again, even if things don't work out.
I now have an appointment booked with a counsellor later this month. I'm hoping to get at the root of my depression. I think it has to do with my social anxiety and the isolation I feel because of it. I'm tired of letting it hold me back. I don't want to miss out on anything else just because I'm afraid of what people might think of me.
I need to choose a date for the hiking and camping trip I keep meaning to plan. I'll have to book the time off soon. I really need to get out of here and clear my head.
I'm working a half day tomorrow even though it's supposed to be my day off. We're understaffed, and if I don't go in I'll have to play catchup the next day, which will suck. I may as well put in a few extra hours and make life easier for myself. I really don't want to though, honestly. I want to sleep in late again. The past few days have been more tiring than usual. I miss having two full days off.
I guess that's it for now. I need to do some stretches and then go to bed.