Now here's something strange which in light of having read the above makes an awful lot more sense. Because this summer I signed up to eHarmony. I thought that there's no bloody way I'm signing up to Tinder again because it's 95 percent bots, catfish, and tarts advertising their OnlyFans. And other online dating I've encountered is a toilet. So, I sign up, I fill out the quiz, I give my credit card details, and so forth. I answer everything honestly. I make it quite clear that I'm atheist because I am. I also mention that I would like children and that I don't drink any more.
Profile pics - one of me at Nuclear Fit and the other of me handling a goshawk. I don't have a shelfload of selfies because I'm not a narcissist.
So, I start clicking through the women aged 33-44 in my area that it suggests me. And I start to notice they seem to have a preponderance of black British women who are all evangelical Christians. This being the most common denomination of Christianity in such a demographic. Now this isn't something I find a deal breaker. It would have been as a student because I was a terrible fedora wearer back then. But not any more. I don't have to go and say their words or speak in tongues and bang on tambourines, and if they like that, well, what they do on their own time is their own business. But. Chances are they would find my atheism a deal breaker. How do I know this? Well, in their own words: "looking for God-fearing spouse." "Seeking a Kingdom relationship." "I'm seeking a manly man who knows Jesus." "Must be saved."
What.
Fucking What.
Erm, your algorithm does know that I ticked "atheist," right? So why are you sending me the God Botherers who are likely to nope out when they see this?
Then I do some reading up on it and it turns out what you put in your profile is basically immaterial. It's decided that I have the moral values and principles of an evangelical Christian. Which I absolutely do not. For a start, there's the whole "God isn't real" thing. Then there's the fact that my idea of absolute hell is a happy-clappy church service. It's not the religiosity but the mandatory fun aspect of it. Then there's the fact that I don't think that you have to be "saved" to have moral values and that there's an awful lot of people who use their religiosity, and this isn't confined to Christians for that matter, as a smokescreen for less salubrious activities. I also don't have a downer on the gays, for that matter. Okay, so I gave up alcohol, but that's not because I think it's sinful, it's because I had a wife who was an alcoholic and I didn't want to go down that road. And I'm not in the market for casual sex because I'm just not. You can get away with podging anything with a pulse in your twenties, but in a few days time I'll be in my forties and you really can't get away with it then.
But, yeah, turns out eHarmony is popular with evangelical Christians because it was founded by one and I apparently show similar principles to them. Allegedly. This makes a lot more sense.
I think I'll carry on with it for now. It's not sending me entirely the God Squad so there's still mileage in it. I'll give it till Christmas and if I don't find someone by it without doomscrolling or get Flirty Fished I'll pack it in.