Other Useful Geordie Phrases - a few sentiments you may want to keep in mind when attempting to speak our heathen lingo
"How man, y'seen that fat bewer ower there like? 'e's geet hyawge!" - Excuse me, friend, but have you observed the obese man over in that direction? He is extremely large.
"How yee, hoy a hammer ower here man!" - Excuse me, my fine fellow, would you be so kind as to throw that hammer in my direction? (This is a great one for confusing non-Geordies; must be spoken extremely fast to be effective.)
"Y'gannin on the lash afta the match lad? Wa gonna get fuckin' palatic!" - Are you going drinking after the football match, young man? We are going to get extremely drunk.
"Haddaway and shite!" - Can be used in many situations, either to begin an opposing view of the previous statement, to dismiss outright the other person's opinion, or simply for effect. Try throwing it into a conversation at any point you like to create havoc.
"A waddn't piss on the soft bastard if he was ahad!" - I wouldn't urinate on the person in question if he was on fire.
"Wey aye, man!" - Indicates agreement.
Some Hilarious (Terrible) Geordie Jokes
A Geordie miner injures himself and gets sent to the hospital, staying in a wheelchair for several weeks. When he finally begins to retain a semblance of mobility, the doctor checks up on him.
"Well, Billy, you've made excellent progress these past few weeks and now it's time to try and walk again."
Billy, flabbergasted, replies to the doctor: "Work? Nee chance o' that doc, a cannit even waak!"
A battle takes place in a remote plain in South Africa in the Boer War, between equally matched British and Boer armies. As the Boer hordes advance, a Geordie officer asks the major what he expects of the troops' morale.
"Hmm, I'm not so sure about our lads when it comes to the crunch. The Boers have war drums."
The young officer quickly replies "The thieving bastards!"