Who runs a perl script every time he logs in, that checks Slashdot for stories posted within a certain timeframe, and if there are any meeting this specification, posts the reply:

Imagine...

...A Beowulf cluster of these.

Thankyou.

If anyone dares criticize him, he retorts with Pat Bateman's Genesis monologue from American Psycho.

Ranks alongside OOG_THE_CAVEMAN in the list of people who make /. interesting.