I've been thinking seriously about becoming an ad executive, just like someone out of a 1950s t.v. show. I grew up on Nick at Nite, and because of that, there's a special place in my heart for those employed in the media industry. There's Dick Van Dyke, Mary Tyler Moore, Bobby Wheeler from Taxi. Hot damn, their lives appeared so succesful to me. So I wanted to introduce my first idea for an ad campaign.

Lawyers. They need advertisements. I remember fondly 1-800-THE-LAW2, I would call the number and throw around the legalese catch phrases that dripped from their commericials like an infection. "I just had an auto accident, and the other driver didn't have auto insurance, help me 1-800-THE-LAW2, I need compensation." Needless to say they rarely found my joke funny.

But with the cutthroat atmosphere of law these days, (and I confess, I haven't watched t.v. seriously in years) (can one watch t.v. seriously?) -- but there needs to be a focus for niche markets. For example:

DO YOU WANT TO SUE YOUR DADDY?
Does Mommy take the child support and spend it on mail order fondue sets?
At KinderCare, LLP we specialize in TykeLaw. We'll insure that your rights as a minor are upheld despite the nasty failings of your pathetic parents.

I think I've lost any chance of being funny here. I think I should put my tail back between my legs, crawl under the fence, and hang out in the neighbor's yard again. They've got a bird bath that could keep me hydrated for a week.


Darkening of the Light. In adversity It furthers one to be persevering.