You'd think, to listen to the loudspeakers which surround us, that
no man has ever tried to "do his thing" before. Every poet worth
reading has, but those really worth reading have understood that to do
your thing you have to learn first what your thing is and second how to
go about it. - Archibald MacLeish
All of my efforts here are experiments in form.
I do not write here to develop characterization, although writing
here has taught me how to write stronger characters. I do not write her
for mechanics, although that has improved too. The best piece of of
writing advice I've ever gotten here about mechanics came from
Kyle about a story I wrote, The Simpleton. He
msged me that I had too many commas. I reread the story and realized
that I was using the commas to make the story seem important.
He was, it seemed, happy. This, he realized, was a good thing.
He, like most people, in most places, of most persuasions, enjoyed
happiness.
See how awkward that pacing is? I thought this technique imbued
gravitas; it doesn't. I learned then that telling the reader that
your story is important is self-defeating. You must believe that it is
an important story to tell and let the reader make up their own mind.
Here are two versions of a paragraph of one of my unpublished stories:
Original
The department store was, with the exception of the suiting
department, a female environment. There was Natasha, who ran Ladies
Wear, and had turned it from a dreary mélange of dreary bargain
basement frocks to a collection befitting the trendiest young
socialite to the most staid matron. Daschle ran men’s wear, along
with his protégé, Marcus. The two were known among a certain segment of
the businessmen in the county, mid-level management and those who
aspired to it. And then there was Rose, a flighty woman who was at
the helm of cosmetics and accessories.
Fresh Edit
The department store was a female environment. There was Natasha,
who had taken Ladies Wear and made it trendy. Daschle ran Men’s Wear
along with his protégé, Marcus. The two
were well-known to certain businessmen in the county, primarily
mid-level management types. Then there was
Rose, the flighty woman at the helm of cosmetics and accessories.
First,
I delete the majority of the modifiers; leaving only the ones that really really need to be there. When you say that someone was tremendously angry or deliriously happy you are telling your reader not to trust you, you exagerrating fool.In fact, People show emotion by what they say or do, not by their narration.
Next,
I look at all of my appositive phrases. An
appositive phrase is a clause that modifies a noun. Example:
Veronica, class president and world-class meth addict, walked to school one day. I, a lover of commas, am particularly bad about this.
Then,
I look for extra words. I strike through anything that might gives the appearance of giving my writing a sort of heaviness. Often when we write we tend to insert these filler words; because we are afraid of giving the impression that we are making a clear statement. We have been brow beaten into timid writing.
Some of those struck passages were inserted as examples; most were
organic. That is the way my first draft looks before I edit.
On Experiments in Form
When I first started writing short stories ten years
ago I was paralyzed by form; terrified to imagine that my stories could be told in a different way than I had told them.
I might arbitrarily pick a form for my writing that would stifle it.
The only method I have lit on is to experiment until I find a form
that fits the story. One day I hope to be smart enough to
divine the correct form at the start; until then I stab violently in
the dark until things line up.
When I write for E2 I am less interested in the content and more
interested in exploring the way a story might be told. Content drives
the story but its form shapes it. I think once I learn everything there
is to learn about form, my time here will be done, and I will move on
to greener pastures.
Always remember that writing here teaches you how to write, but
also how to write for E2. I think the reason more of us haven't become
published writers is that we become successful at writing for E2, and
are unwilling to improve past that.
I have improved much in the four years since I came here. I urge
you to think of your writing here as a work in progress. I urge you to
improve what you can, and have the rest consigned to the rubbish pile.
Thank you for your time.