At one point, my city had something called “First Night”. It was breathlessly announced as “an alcohol-free celebration!” that was so upbeat and positive, they couldn’t even call it “the last night of the year”, but “first” because after midnight it was clearly Jan 1, and night, but … not so negative. It would feature "multicultural local entertainers" in an uplifting "festival of the arts", climaxing with "a glorious light-and-sound extravaganza".
True to form for New Haven, it wasn’t an original idea, but “joining in spirit with Boston and other cities in a nationwide bond of solidarity!” or some Bobo slogan like that. I can remember other cities having it and it sounded OK...but then every city festival sounds great with a little creative photography and ad copy. If you'd gone to something similar elsewhere, Your Mileage Might have Varied.
I hated the whole thing. For one thing, it meant walking outdoors from one place to another on a cold winter night. This was supposed to be made magical and neighborly with lights and the happy faces of families as the city came together as one. What this meant was that you met up with all kinds of Yuppie proto-Karens, who, together with their husbands worked in the city while they lived in the more affluent 'burbs, all looking sourly at us actual city-dwelling freaks as they hustled their little snowflakes away from seeing anyone that wasn't exactly like them, along with the usual contingent of panhandlers and assorted other types. None of the daytime lunch and coffee places were open, and most of the venues they were hawking had anything like a place to sit down. And most were in “alternative spaces” which meant no heat. Need we say that it was advertised in terms that made you feel like a traitor to humanity if you stayed home?
Also, there was the entertainment. Since everything was “family friendly”, everything even remotely interesting was banned in favor of unobjectionable meh. There was the middle-aged dour feminist Jewish woman storyteller whose persona was a “lovable, funny” old woman Jewish storyteller (with feminist overtones) who got trotted out for every street festival. There were the same three or four punkish bands you saw playing pubs during the year playing their least objectionable material in an attempt to “get exposure”. There was a Black dance troupe whose schtick was making anyone who wasn’t Black feel personally responsible for every. single. bad. thing. that. ever. happened to a Black person. (To be fair, they were pretty good as dancers, though.) There were several skits all based on “isn’t it great that we’re not drinking and not doing anything negative”? And of course, some people playing the kind of classical that makes you wonder why they dedicate their lives to playing, and end up boring 99% of their audience. As for the amazing climax, I've seen theatrical lighting and projections to music before, and it just looked like they wanted to get it over with, so everyone could go home. Meanwhile, everywhere around us, every place with a liquor license is full of half-naked people whooping it up, listening to music that wasn’t strictly Good For You, eating food that wasn’t organic sustainably grown vegan, and who didn’t give a rip about catering to some Concerned Mother’s idea of what her little snowflakes should be exposed to.
It really made me want to have a drink. Soon. Alone. At home, where it’s cheap and warm, and no one was asking me to applaud being insulted for existing.
It’s not as if you couldn’t find some common ground between the two. A good upbeat trad jazz band is good for everyone. Get the classical people together with some vintage dancers and offer waltzing lessons in an ersatz Palm Court. Have some EDM with a light show. Offer tables around one of those warming stations, with hot drinks. Have a strolling magician, a juggler… some commedia della’ Art people. (Most people who think clowns are scary never saw a Pierrot…or a harlequin, for that matter.) Stage an Elizabethan jig, a pantomime, anything that involves audience participation, funny costumes and a lot of movement. Something so avant garde you don’t know what you’re seeing. An Enchanted Forest kind of thing,with lots of LED’s to form a maze.
I might even get out of my living room.
I know that I must sound like a MAGAt, but it really was that bad. New Haven NeoLiberalism was all about talking like a radical, but living like a bougie: owning stocks and investing in real estate was cool as long as you idolized Che Guevera, you were "ecologically aware" if you recycled and ate vegan organic food (instead of foie gras and caviar) and went to South America or Alaska on vacation (instead of the Bahamas or Europe), you were "concerned about the homeless" by going to fundraising silent auctions to benefit studies on mental health issues, wearing tailored clothing was OK as long as you were an arts administrator or a socially concerned lawyer. The Northern strategy on race obtained for all kinds of people: go as high as you want, but don't get too close. In short, virtue signal all you want. Just don't embarrass anyone by actually being someone on the recieving end, and don't actually be virtuous.
I actually do like classical music. Just not what they were playing. There's a time for string quartets, and a time to play crowd-pleasers. This was one of them.
Come to think about it, it was really about trying to get the Bobos into town. The "neighborly locals" were just a Potemkin village.