We were meeting for lunch at the Maplewood Mall
noon you said
and don’t be late like you usually are
but I had forgotten to set the alarm
and my clothes were wrinkled
my hair was a fright
couldn’t find my car keys to save my life
they finally turned up in the vegetable drawer
I put on some lipstick and opened the door
and Monitor lizards were in the front yard
Komodo dragons wherever I looked
and one waddled up as Komodos will do
I gave him a bop on his big lizard nose
got in the car and I drove and I drove
and tried to come up with a story to tell
one you’d believe and one I could sell
it was 12:45 when I finally arrived
late for our lunch at the Maplewood Mall
soon as you saw me
first thing you said
long as we’re here I should buy you a watch
by then I’d decided confession was best
and spilled my guts on the whole stupid mess
the unset alarm and the vegetable drawer
the Monitor lizards out on the lawn
still I could tell from the look on your face
that story to you was full of deceit
I knew it wasn’t but hard as I tried
I could never come up with a lie you’d believe.