delicate threads brushing up against me
6/3/01
They are here. The tickets that have the kids all giddy with anticipation. The tickets that I don't want to look at. They are going home. I have 15 more days with them, then the summer stretches before me like an endless night. I must enjoy them while I can, store up every precious moment, because they will be necessary for future use. I must soak them in now so I can relive them each day while they are gone. The mornings when they climb into bed with us to talk about nothing and everything. The singing for no apparent reason at any given moment. The colored chalk etchings on the patio. The giggles as one jumps into the pool cannon balling the others. The snuggling, the huggling, and the "I love you's" that spontaneously appear. The sweet smell of childhood hair that still lingers with them. All of that. They plan their summer with vigor, scheme ways to reconnect with friends while visiting family. I am happy for them, at the same time I am sad. Summer without kids is not summer.
6/5/01
A Tuesday like no other. I expected the same old yawn boring Tuesday working at the mall. I got....
- monkeys jumping on the bed
- the sight of four exceptionally good dancers grinning with joy on a stage in front of the carousel decked out in red/black being filmed for a music video
- late to work because I couldn't drag myself from the energy of the video shoot nor from the pop music blasting through the courtyard
- a mother with infant triplets
- a father shopping with his 3 month old son because he had the day off and wanted to find matching outfits for the two of them.
- to see more of the video shoot four hours later, but with a crowd of people dancing in front of the stage. that in itself was unexceptional, however, there are many fountains that sprout from the courtyard floor and during the shoot, one of the workers turned ON the fountains,,,, crowds of people hooting and peeling off wet clothes and dancing with wild abandon amongst streaming water....now THAT was a sight, one I felt the strong urge to join in on. Did not, but was glad to be there to feel the joy. (I wish I had my camera)
- to meet a budding ballerina, star. I spent 1/2 hour helping her pick out extremely cool and fun clothes with sassy shoes to match. I got to feel her excitement about an audition tomorrow for a commercial she wants to do. Young people reaching for their passions. I love that stuff.
- a hug from another girl for finding her just the right sneakers (ok, they call them tennies here, but I just haven't got that down yet. Tennies, to me, are the white canvas sneakers you wear to play TENNIS, not sneakers in general) There is no PDA allowed in the store, unprofessional. BAH, I say to that. I'm not turning down little girl hugs. There is nothing quite like the sudden expression of happiness that can not be held in. I would be a fool to turn it down.
- to capture the moon full, round, and big coming up over the horizon on film. I hope the picture turns out.
- to laugh with one who is becoming dear to me despite the digs at my dictionary
I want more Tuesdays like this, full of life. I will get them if I watch out for them and grab them close
6/6/01
I spent the morning soaking in the Ohio gathering like a sponge. Trying to glean every piece to capture the feeling of the event.
Climb up on the Moon? Of course we did. THERE is the feeling.
Right there on that node. A taste of it is here Rain in 7 flavors,
and yet another image Ask a fish what water is. Better yet, ask a wave. All perspectives, different angles, different layers, flavors, smells, feelings of one grand event. They made me cry, but the good kind of tears. I thirstly mop up every drop I find to capture the feeling, the essence of the gathering. This place is about community. There are days that I am content to just sit here on the edge and watch it all go on, connecting here and there like the links between writeups. Threads of life all connected, sometimes running side by side gently brushing up against each other like fine webs glistening with dew on a summer morning. Someday, my thread will run right through the middle of it all. For now, I breathe in the thoughts of all of you and smile.
It feels good.