A review I wrote for a local newspaper of the Naked Chef
Cheeky cockney scamp Jamie Oliver is sentenced to yet another over-familiar stint in his designer kitchen as he dazzles and amazes us with his gastronomic gift.
I’m really finding it difficult to resist the knee-jerk reaction of telling the world what it already knows (Jamie Oliver is an annoying twat. case closed). The question is, why do people hate Jamie Oliver? In a word; jealousy. Pure and simple.
Everyone wants to have a south London apartment with a supremely slidable banister. Everyone wants a white trash token bride who’ll let them call her ‘Jools’ and most importantly, everyone wants to be a fackin’ cockney. Obviously, there’ll be a few northerners who’ll deny this, but I’m sure the desire is definitely sub-conscious.
At the end of the day, when I come to think of it, there is no TV chef who takes on any form of human trait. So it is my plea that any person who cooks for a camera (except that guy who always wears a bandana on ‘Ready, Steady...Cook!’) be rounded up and beaten to within an inch of their lives with a rolled up copy of Hello! Magazine.