Ask for a Refund
Cast (gender non-specific).
Thespian: Voice tends towards a parody of Noel Coward, dressed casually.
Bypasser: Wearing long overalls (brown prefered).
set: bare stage
Thespian stands centre stage, hands in pockets, leaning forward slightly, looking intently directly into audience; an attitude that is kept for the entirety of the production.
Bypasser walks up to Thespian from stage right.
turns to profile, facing thespian, faces are close together.
Bypasser: gestures to speak - opens mouth but is interupted...
Thespian: Sssssssssh!
Thespian: Theres an exchange going on here!
Bypasser: (suprised): Eh?
Thespian: An exchange. You see all those people. (nods toward audience) They've paid good money for this.
Bypasser: What you talking about? Thats just a wall.
(loosely gestures to count the four walls)
Thespian: Thats part of the exchange too. The fourth wall, its a kind of bonus, makes them feel they are seeing something they shouldn't.
Bypasser: I wondered why you had your hands in your pockets.
Thespian (quickly withdraws hands from pockets): Tut. I Meean... they get to see ME being someone that I'm not.
(strikes a more heroic pose fists clenched)
Bypasser: Really? Who aren't you today then?
Thespian: puffing up chest: Today I'm not a famous celebrity... I mean I am.
(said boldly with increasing doubt towards the end).
Bypasser: And I thought you were Napoleon, at least thats what you said yesterday.
(Thespian glances briefly at Bypasser frowning...
a short pause...
then resumes looking intently into audience).
Bypasser: So this exchange thing, am I part of it too?
Thespian: Nope, Just me.
Bypasser: Aha.. I get it, the gate wasn't very good was it?
Thespian: Have you read the reviews?
an awkward pause..
Bypasser: You finished? Its nearly dinner time.
Thespian: Just the denouement to go and Its a done deal.
Bypasser: Come on then.
(Thespian relaxes and follows Bypasser as they both amble off toward stage left).
half way to offstage
Bypasser shouts: I'm going to tell the Warden you've sold that wall.
Bypasser runs offstage persued by Thespian (who roars like a bear).
End
Tifrap - Brighton, England