One couple I know gets pregnant
, and then he marries her and they have another kid. Another couple were only roommates when she got pregnant. They got married and then had another kid. I know of two more married
couples who had not been married much over a year that got pregnant. One was met with joy and the other was met with frustration and denial. The latter ended up having yet another kid
. At the time when the mothers got pregnant, not one of them was over 23
. To be honest. I would say almost all of them wish they hadn't gotten pregnant at all.
I'm insensitive, and I don't know anything. Maybe it's a matter of having good odds. I slept around quite a bit in my past, and I wasn't necessarily as safe as I should have been (I did always use a condom), yet I've never gotten pregnant. Some excuses for the above pregnancies had to do with not having any condoms, or not being able to afford birth control that month, and I'm sorry, that's not a good enough excuse.
I know that chance for pregnancy increases with every child, that birth control is not as predictable or reliable. I know that pregnancy does not destroy relationships or is any way, in itself, a bad thing. But when people who aren't married get married because of a pregnancy, or in some rare cases people who aren't even dating do so, I get concerned. Most people, including myself, would say, "I would prefer that not happen to me." Few people actually want an untimely pregnancy, even though some women have been accused of getting pregnant on purpose.
I don't think it's much to ask that I be married already and have spent a good amount of years with that person before I get pregnant, but in view of the order of how such things occur, I'm beginning to think that my desires are becoming less and less common. I think part of that is due to how easy it appears to terminate the responsibility of a pregnancy with either abortion, adoption, or preventative abortion, like RU-486 (as it becomes more accessible to those who need it). It seems that not only are people not being responsible, but they also succumb to the statistics that declare just how common pregnancy has become in our society, how disposable it seems.
Thankfully, in most cases, even when the pregnancy is unexpected, the nuturing instinct kicks in and helps out. Maybe I will be more sensitive or sympathetic when I get pregnant. Until then, I will try my hardest not to be until I am ready.