Yeah Princess.

Tell me a story.

Her name was Denise. She lived with her dad, and he called her Princess.

Or Puddin'. Or Cupcake.

He called her other things too. Denise was a little pudgy.

And he was tired when he got home.  All he wanted to do was knock back a six-pack and go to bed


Yeah Princess.

Tell me a story.

He took a long pull off a beer.

Daddy's tired Puddin'.


Aw Cupcake...

Daddy tell me a story about bears in a house and a witch with a...

'K, okay, okay...he lit another Marlboro...tell you a story...okay Puddin'...once there was house...

Did bears live in it Daddy?

No Princess. No bears. But the house was in a the woods, see, and—

And a girl lived there, with seven dwarves, right Daddy?

No Puddin'. A man lived there. 'Bout my size.

He opened another beer.

Was he a nice man Daddy?

No Cupcake, he wasn't. He wasn't a nice man. He wasn't nice at all.

But he met a princess right Daddy? And he kissed her, and then—

No Dumpling, he was afraid. He was afraid to kiss a girl, but he thought about girls a lot. Alone in the woods and all. So one day he went to the big city. And he found a girl, and brought her home to the woods.

And they lived happily ever after, hunh Daddy.

He took a long drag off a Marlboro.

Nope. No, Sasquatch. They didn't.  The man gave her a special drink. And she fell asleep.

Like a potion Daddy?

Sort of, Piglet. Sort of like a potion.  

He picked up a beer can.


Anyway, she fell asleep. And the man cut her up into nine different pieces. Kept a few. Buried the rest in the woods.

Denise ran from the room, in tears.



He lit the butt of a Marlboro.

Bring Daddy another beer.